Hi! I didn't have the shock my husbands passing was like a relief since he suffered so bad. I keep myself busy that's how I deal with things. Sleep?? What's that! It's when I'm not busy like now I'm off from work and I'm not in the mood to do anything guess that's why I'm here.

Raniah, I am so very sorry for you loss. This is such an agonizing journey and I am so thankful you found us here so soon. This site has been a life saver for me. We all know the level of pain you are suffering and it does get better with time. Yes eating, sleeping are very important. I would also recommend drinking a ton of fluids ,it still amazes me how many tears the human body can produce. Little distractions are wonderful. A walk outside, just observing nature can be comforting. Don't put pressure on yourself to do anything you aren't up to doing. Everyone grieves in their own way so your journey will not be the same as anyone elses. Try to ignore those that say to "get over" it as we will never "get over" losing the love of our life. Love is eternal as it should be. I have found that letting my emotions out helps. Keeping them bottled up just seems to allow them to build up until you feel like you will explode. And oh how intense our emotions can be. It can hit you at anytime, anywhere without warning. I have chosen to just go with the flow. Many well meaning friends and family may try to help, but this journey just takes time. One minute, one hour,one day etc. You can't rush it and no one "gets it" unless they too have lost their soulmate. Come here as often as you can or want to. There are amazing people here from everywhere that will not judge but will give you so much comfort and compassion. There seems to be someone here at any given time as our membership spans several continents with differing time zones. Sleep is so very important. I find that when I don't sleep well I become overly sensitive to EVERYTHING. If you aren't sleeping well at night, then take a nap or several of them a day. Grief is exhuasting! If you feel like it, read some older posts from those that have crawled this path before us. They have been through what you are going through and many have once again found peace and comfort in thier lives. This gives me hope that one day we will all be in a better place. Hugs and Love to you kiddo, hang in there, Michele

Thank you for the replies. I need this guidance, as I am currently wandering around the house feeling lost and not even knowing what to do first. There is so much to do with funeral arrangements and the aftermath, it is exhausting, and my mind isn't functioning all that well. I am hoping to do better in the sleep department tonight. We will see. It sure would help. This community is very supportive, and I'm so glad I found this place where others understand.

Raniah,

Put all paperwork, seeming important or not in a place for safe keeping. What may seem trival now may become the item you need down the road. I learned from experience and this cam save you a lot of grief in the long run. Sorry you have to experience this significant event in your life but a lot of sage advice is here to aid and guide you through this horrible time of grieving and stress. Please ask for help as it is here. I'm about 2 years since the loss of my bride of 31 years but ask for help as the people here really understand and are compassionate to aid you. Sorry you have to be here but you are in good hands. (Dewey)

So very sorry for your loss. You found a very compassionate community here who understands the grief journey. Only three days - You are still numb. Sleep ... Hardly possible at this early stage and all normal. Just try to rest as much as possible. Statsmaster so correct on keeping papers together, and also keys in the same place. If you are living alone now, it was suggested to me to bury or hide key outside. Things seem to get misplaced for awhile... We are here for you any time, night or day.

Thank you, that is more good advice. Keeping track of paperwork has never been my strength, but I will do what I can to save what I need and be patient with myself. And yes, I do notice already that every time I go looking for something in this house, I have trouble finding it. I don't know what that's about, except I am in such a fog about everything right now.

I'm sorry to hear of your loss. You are among people here who understand. I found that having a set time that I had to be dressed each day was helpful. Something that would have normally been trivial became important for me. I also tried to make myself get some fresh air every day, even if it was sitting outside for a few minutes. I think it's the change of perspective that nature gives us. Only watching happy movies/shows/documentaries is also helpful. Sending you hugs, love and light. -Becca

So sorry for your loss. The first three weeks were hardest for me. At first you in a fog and then you realize that the life you had is over. Take care of yourself during this time; try to eat and sleep anytime you can. Most important to me was just letting myself feel the pain and suffering through the emotions. That meant allowing myself to cry anytime and as much as needed. Please know in time it does get better and you will realize you do have a future. Different than you planned, but a future. This site will offer a lot of support, we are all in various stage of this journey and understand what you are going through. Stay strong and take care of yourself. Hugs, Jo

I am grateful for the support. I will remember and use all of your advice as I take steps each day on this new path. It is so good to hear from people who understand.

Hi Raniah, Along with everyone here, I too am sorry for your recent loss. Right now, you've just got to do the best you can to survive and get through this - you can't see the state of shock you are in right now but you will looking back. And believe it or not, you are in a protected state. You've got to get as much sleep as possible, remember to eat and drink your fluids. It is all the hardest thing any of us have ever gone through, and that is the key, you've just got to go through it to get through it. Take it minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. Do not hide your grief -- let it come when it wants to -- there is healing and release in the tears and sobs. May God comfort and carry you ~ Scott

Thanks Raniah for coming to Daily Strength. The encouragement that you receive here will prepare you for the pitfalls that lie ahead. I came here two years and four months ago and it has helped me tremendously. Don't stop coming. So much information to share, because we have walked the path that is new to you. I am praying daily for you and for all who frequent this forum searching to ease the pain in a place none of us wanted to be. May you be strengthened, comforted and have much peace.

Dear Raniah,
I'm glad you came to DS. We have all been in the state of shock and
Numbness you are feeling.
Please Take of you.
Breathe...drink fluids, rest, and try and eat. Exhaustion is overwhelming in grief. All you are feeling now is normal.
Come here often, for affirmation encouragement and support.
Believe me, We All care....We know how you feel.
Sending you love and caring during this time,
Sandra

It means a lot to be able to come here and read the supportive comments from everyone. I feel very blessed to have found this place. Thank you for helping me and reaching out to me. I am very sorry for your losses, too.

I made it through Christmas Day yesterday. I went to a friend's house for supper, and made it through that, too. But then I was really exhausted, and felt another total meltdown coming. You all know how it is when those awful waves of pure anguish come over you. I've lost several loved ones along the way, but this is unlike any other death or grief I have experienced. It's the pain of knowing that the future we had planned is completely wiped clean, and there is this dark void in front of me now that I have no idea how to navigate. I felt like he was the only one who really understood me. It was unconditional love, and that's a precious commodity in this life. I loved him so, so deeply.

It's amazing how the people you thought would be there aren't there so much, and yet other people come out of the woodwork and envelope you with empathy. I have read about this in other people's stories here, and to witness it in my own life just brings the point right on home.

Waking up from the little pockets of sleep I get is a tough experience. It helped me this morning to know that I had this place to come to.