Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
This was my second year without my husband. Second everything, birthday, Christmas, anniversary, etc. I agree with most people who found the second year tougher than the first one. I guess it is because during the first year I was on automatic pilot and I did not know what to expect. Now, auto pilot is off and I know what to expect and mostly it is no good.
However, I do cry less, I have accepted that he will not be back and that I have to structure my life differently. I have tried all kinds of methods to feel less unhappy, less sorry for myself and less vulnerable. But I know deep down that only the passing of time will help. My way of coping is to think that I had over 40 years of a good life with my husband, of being cherished, understood and loved and now it is a different life. A life I have to build and shape myself. What also helps is that I know no one can take away my happy past and take away my husband from my heart. This is a comfort to me.
I believe there is some hope of a happy future life, if I did not believe in that, I could not go on. I am forever grateful to my husband for the happiness he provided me with and through that I believe I have to be optimistic for the future, even if sometimes I fail to.
I have been away from this site a few months but I still want to say that DS helped beyond measure and still does. You have all been a fantastic help when I felt so raw and unhappy, I would not be where I am now without you and I thank you all.
I wish you as good a Christmas as you can have and would also like to say, no matter how hard and sorrowful our life is, we have to wish upon ourselves a more peaceful future New Year.
However, I do cry less, I have accepted that he will not be back and that I have to structure my life differently. I have tried all kinds of methods to feel less unhappy, less sorry for myself and less vulnerable. But I know deep down that only the passing of time will help. My way of coping is to think that I had over 40 years of a good life with my husband, of being cherished, understood and loved and now it is a different life. A life I have to build and shape myself. What also helps is that I know no one can take away my happy past and take away my husband from my heart. This is a comfort to me.
I believe there is some hope of a happy future life, if I did not believe in that, I could not go on. I am forever grateful to my husband for the happiness he provided me with and through that I believe I have to be optimistic for the future, even if sometimes I fail to.
I have been away from this site a few months but I still want to say that DS helped beyond measure and still does. You have all been a fantastic help when I felt so raw and unhappy, I would not be where I am now without you and I thank you all.
I wish you as good a Christmas as you can have and would also like to say, no matter how hard and sorrowful our life is, we have to wish upon ourselves a more peaceful future New Year.
I do take it one day at a time, it has been less that 6 months for me.
I honestly believe my grief began the moment my husband was diagnosed with terminal leukemia. When people tell me I had anticipatory grief, I didn't know what they were talking about. Maybe they are right.
Thanks for keeping updated here, I am glad you are doing as well as can be.
Love and hugs, Sandra.
Take care, everyone.
Jackie
Love and Hugs,
Martha
I am putting myself out there.. Put up a tree and bought all new ornaments, accepted invites to two holiday parties and New Years out with friends. Not easy, but I'm pushing . Have to live again and feel alive again.. If possible.
I wish u all health and peace this year.
Maureen
I'm beginning year 4 as of 3 days ago ... so hard for me to believe.
I wish you the very best, not only for the holidays but for the future.
I'm at 20 months and I have some good hours but not many. I'm not at full "days" yet. But, I'm looking forward to less sad and fretful days. I know what it feels like to be a happy woman [because it's who I was.]
I know she's lurking inside me because every once in a while she slips through and I laugh and have my usual fun with others. Then the thoughts of Morey and his death creep back in. These thoughts are coming in waves and less and less.
I will ALWAYS remember my love and my life with him, ALWAYS! I just want to remember it all with a smile on my face and a dance in my heart!
Roz
Along with Gerald and Sandee, I have also been traveling this road for a long time, and I'm grateful for the support I can always count on from friends here.
Wishing peace to all . . .
From Jesus Calling: My plan for your life is unfolding before you. sometimes the road you are traveling seems blocked. As you persevere along the path I have prepared for you, expect to see miracles--and you will.