Sorry for your loss. It is scary, but it really helped me.
I lost my wife on Oct. 4th this year. We had ordered a
new boat back in May, which she was so looking forward to
taking it out on the maiden voyage. It came in Aug. 29th and she
was in the hospital after that and never got to take that first trip.
She did finally, I didn't take the boat out until her ashes were on it
and we spread some of them in one of her favorite fishing spot.

It gave me a great sense of healing and calm. This was one of her last wishes
and following thru with that commitment was a milestone for me. I had some very close friends accompany me for the first spreading and it helped a lot.
Me and Terry loved to travel, so she has been spread in many places since then.

It will help you more than you know now. Prayers.

In reality it's not that scary to do. It actually brings relief and closure. I scattered 1/3 of my husband's ashes at the place where he was born and grew up (Devon, England), 1/3 where he lived and liked to walk his dog out (Ambernac, France) and 1/3 I still keep at home to scatter where we were married at (San Diego, CA).

I think that is a beautiful idea! How appropriate! I hope this comforts you and blesses your heart.

The strange thing about moments of significance in our grief journeys is that our reactions are so unpredictable. I have found that the anticipation is often more difficult than the actual event. Prepare yourself for the worst and hopefully that won't happen. Allow yourself to just be however you will be. I've discovered that it doesn't matter either way, it's never going to be worse than what we have lived through so far. Wishing you peace as you take this final step.