I do understand your fear of being "alone" with your grief. I think we've all experienced this on differing levels. I agree with you, that this will be a cathartic time to grieve, just let it all out . . let the tears flow, for they are healing tears. Sending lots of healing thoughts your way. Hugs, Dayna

My husband died in May also. This is the first time being alone in 27yrs. My goal is to be happy living alone. I'm getting used to it a little at a time. Could you have someone come and stay with you? Wish I knew how to help. Best of luck to you and you may just surprise yourself. Sometimes your stronger then you think. Valerie

I had never lived alone until January. Very seldom ever spent a night alone in 61 years. At first the silence was deafening. I still pace too much and sometimes i think too much, but for the most part I think we get used to the silence. Tears and reflection are necessary. So give yourself permission to grieve. If you need to vent and heaven knows we all do, we will listen! Hugs Patti

I m being scared n always very sick too

I know your feelings all to well. Two of my sons are older and one still in high school. When my youngest is out exploring life I am feeling that alone as well. I was young when I met my husband and I lived on my own for a very short time before we moved in together and married. I haven't been alone in 26 yrs and frankly I don't know how. I do use that time to cry and to talk to my husband, I also journal alot Im not sure it helps but that's how I spend my time. I don't go any where anymore because I'm just not to the point where I am comfortable doing that. I would rather stay home and feel safe. Try to put your time to good use while your family is gone. Maybe scrapbook or craft something meaningful in honor of your family or husband. If you like to cook maybe make up some meals to freeze. If you need us we are here. We all will listen DS is my saving grace Hugs

I have never lived alone. My oldest son is still here, but when I got back from Colorado, he was still in Florida for another week. So just the dogs and I. A very strange feeling for sure. Yes I did my share of crying, but that doesn't seem to matter if I'm alone or not. Such a different type of life. I am happy your have family living with you, probably gives you lots of distractions. Hugs to you, try to do something nice for yourself while they are gone. Michele

I have never lived alone... and in all reality, my time alone is minimal at best. It was, for a while, extremely frightening to be alone... especially in our home. Every square inch is a memory, and at these times... no matter how good those memories are, they are extremely painful. My first night all alone was very hard... my daughter had went to a friend's for the night, and I was here with my thoughts. It has now gotten to the point where I long for time alone... I can talk out loud to Shane without the fear of anyone thinking I am losing it. I can cry as loud and as hard as I want, and I think that is a necessary thing.
It is difficult... and incredibly frightening. And if your first time is going to be a full week... you may find it necessary to call a friend or someone to come spend a few hours every now and again to break up the hours. But, it sounds like you have been being strong, and putting on a brave face for your loved ones (something I think many of us tend to do when others are around)... It may be a good thing to have some time alone where you can scream and cry... think... talk out loud... the things that we often do not allow ourselves to do around even our closest friends and family.
Hugs to you... Amy

It is not easy to be alone after so many years of marriage. I have no family in immediate area so alone in house. I have to get through this with help of girlfriends and a support group. I keep busy here with projects, hobbies, calling friends, reading, etc. I just try to keep my thoughts on how to get through the day and not think to far down the line. It is not easy so hang in there -- we are all here for you.

The fear of alone is the different sounds, shadows, feelings you have differently with someone there. Frankly when I had my husband - there were none. I think as I rode that period out I learnt what the sounds were and began to accept some very happily. Because they were a good part of my new life. And my dog alerted me (now dogs) to strange ones to check out. SO that's the security part of it. The emotional alone I felt was dealing now all by myself once everyone left of learning to be just me not we. And those are steps in the grief process I learned I had to go through. It wasn't until the steps forward, crying period, steps backward than deep breathes forcing myself to go through each like it or not (what choices did I have) I found I was stronger. And survived. Loneliness is a different kind of alone.

I just want to say go through the steps, you are stronger than you think, and everyone is here to help you. Take periods alone and bug friends at times too. HUGS

It is not easy to be alone..

but we are all here for each and every one of us..that way, none of us are truly alone..

I understand too. I found myself alone soon after the funeral for 10 days and I was scared too. It was lonely at times, but also I got to scream and yell and just let loose with my grief, which I needed. Use this time to allow yourself to grieve in a way you can't with people in the house. I'm so sorry we have to go thru this, it sucks!

GC, I understand how you must feel about the lonliness. My beloved passed away in March and if it's any consolation to you, (but I doubt it :-), then allow me to elaborate. I live in an apartment in a condo for the elderly. Neighbours are similar age (70+ ) and keep to themselves. I will be lucky to actually see one and say "Hello". That will be the total length of a weeks conversation. My son and his family are miles away, and although they do their best they have their own commitments. From the very start I dreaded going into "our" empty apartment. However over the last 5 months, I have come to realise that it is not totally empty. My wife is still with me, if only in soul. I talk to her and tell her what is happening,(although of course she already knows everything). There are still many of her belongings here which retain some of her scent, so can act as a little reminder of her physical presence. I have wept copious tears and asked why oh why? .... but am gradually coming to acceptance. What I am trying to say is that you are never on your own; only on the physical level. And about "talking to my beloved wife", no I am not mad :-).... I should know as I am a Psychologist! :-) Please don't fear being alone, as there will be times when you simply need to be, if only to allow your grief to express itself by openly weeping.
All of us on the forum travel the same pathway, it's what unites us, whatever our status in life.
Jon

I had never been alone my entire life. When I found myself alone, I enjoyed it. I was alone a year, then my eldest son had to move in. I miss my alone time.