I'm so sorry that your fianc passed away. You are a new mother and you are going through all this terrible grief at the same time as you are getting to know how to be a mom and loving your newborn daughter. How sad I am for you.

Try to keep reading and writing on this site. It is helping me tremendously because I don't feel alone in my grief. My children are much older that your little one, but when my husband passed away on October 29 suddenly from a heart attack, we all went into shock. He was only 51 and we have four kids.

I do know that the time after giving birth is always intensely emotional even when everything is OK. But dealing with his death at this time has got to be the biggest challenge you've ever faced. Try to ask your medical doctor for the name of a good counselor who can help you talk through your feelings and get the emotional support you need.

Thank you for your reply... My fiance passed Dec 12... I decided to join a support group because i felt so alone and the people i am surrounded have not gone through this. I do hope that this helps somewhat. I know its not been very long since he passed but i need to feel even just a small amount better to be able to make it through my day alittle easier.

Danielle . so sorry to hear of your recent loss. As always, hate to welcome a new member here due to our circumstance; however, so glad you found us. You will find a lot of support through our shared grief journey here amongst friends and family on DS.

I understand your angst and question of "how am I going to get through this?" . . . we've all been there, and many of us are still there. Together we support one another, alone, we find the fortitude to continue our lives . . . I don't have an exact "cure all answer" unfortunately.

Just know that you are not alone, many have travailed the path before us . . . and they are the voices here that will bring you the most comfort and inspiration.

Don't question too much today . . . allow self to be in the emotional pain that you are in . . . it's part of the grief journey. Be gentle with self and allow tomorrow to unfold without expectation.

One baby step, one breath at a time . . this too shall pass, but not soon enough to our liking. We didn't ask for it, but here it is.

Growth and wisdom to follow . . . simply continue to believe in the processes of "life". There is a reason and season for all things.

My heart goes out to you and my deepest condolences in your time of need. Please continue to stay with us and vent, cry, write as you need to. We are here for you!

Big hug, Dayna

Danielle, I am sorry for your loss. I was 28 when my husband died leaving 4 kids and one on the way. You are doing what you need to do and that is to put your child first.. I agree that this is more difficult with a newborn when it comes to keeping your emotions in check and agree it is wise to have a good doctor on hand. This is the time when you will feel exhausted, not eat, and not sleep. I wish you peace.

Maggie

Danielle,
You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.

Have you ever seen a tear [your tear] on your babies cheek? When you're holding your little girl and your tear falls on her cheek.....you're sharing your heart with this new little life.

The two of you will share a common bond, you will have to tell her stories of her father, of the man she will never know. The Daddy who was not given the chance to hold, comfort and enjoy his little girl.

You need to grieve this loss, not only for you but for your child who will ask you one day....."Mommy, tell me about my Daddy!"
You have a HUGE job ahead of you. You MUST pick up the pieces of a life, so new, so challenged, so hurt.

Take your time Danielle, there's no rush. You have lots of time and you have us. We're here for you....day or night! Be kind to you, be gentle with YOU!

Warmly,
Roz

Danielle,
I am so very sorry for your loss. He was so young, and it's so unfair!
My heart hurts for you and your precious baby.
Your pain is very raw, you have to give yourself time to grieve, lots of time.
Take one day at a time, and if that's too overwhelming, take one hour at a time, or even one minute at a time. Crying releases your emotions, so cry all you want.
You're not alone, we're here to help.

Hugs,
Janie

My husband and I were both 60 when he died of lung cancer and it's story's like yours that make me realize how fortunate we were to have each other for so long. At the time I grieved my loss of retirement together, but I learned listening to others that we are blessed by the time we have. Here you are on your first post already teaching others. Thank you and I am so very sorry for your loss and the loss of a father for your child.

I know the pain you feel and if you need I'm here for you along with the others here who understand. Sharon

Danielle,
So sorry for your loss. I understand how you feel. Being strong does not mean not crying. Cry when you want to, it cleanses the soul.
We on DS know what you are going through, we are experiencing the same.
Yes you are way too young to experience this. Nothing prepares us for this.
Big hug to you and your daughter. Positive energy to you also. Be gentle to yourself.

Welcome to the site that none of us want to be on because it means we have lost our soul mate. However, all the DS folks on here are on the same journey as you and know what you are going through. They have helped me tremendously!! The first couple of months after my husband died were the worst. I felt numb and the pain was overwhelming at times. Crying is the best way to let it out and is part of the healing process. You are not alone. We are here to help you. Sending you and your beautiful baby hugs!! Sue

Danielle I am so so sorry for your loss. If i lived near you I would be there to help you but it is not possible so all i can do is offer my prayers so that you can look after yourself and your precious baby.
Crying is what we all go through so it's ok. Hugs to you and your little one.