Marie, I am so sorry for your loss, and I do understand about the Holidays coming. I lost my husband last year about 3 weeks before Christmas and it was the worst Chrismas of my life. Looking back I wish I had prepared for the holidays a little more, in order to make them a little more bearable. You might want to give that some thought now while it is still early. At your stage of grief I know it seems like you will never feel any better, but it does get better with time; the pain is still there, but it gets a little more manageable. The first year is hard, going through all the first anniversaries of everything. Just know that you are not alone - we are all on the same sad journey and we understand. laurabp

Marie
I'm a little bit behind you on the horrible journey. I think when we think about the holidays all at one time, it's awful. But taking it day by day, it's a little easier to handle. My birthday was last week. Our anniversary is next month. We both have big families so the holidays are big family gatherings. My husband hunted and that was a big deal also this time of the year.

It is going to be very hard. It's not fair. But take it one day at a time. That's all we get. We have to do this, but baby steps. I cry everyday, remember him everyday, miss him everyday. It's not going to get better for some time.

But we are not alone, unfortunately. Everyone here understands, and will help get us all through this. Take care

I'm so sorry for your loss Marie. I'll be at 2 months on the 9th - almost feels like I'm getting worse instead of better. Miss him so much right now - seems like I miss him more as the days goes on instead of less. Yesterday was the 6 year anniversary when we moved into this house - and now I'm faced with having to sell it...can't even imagine living somewhere that Jim has not been. They say that time will help with the pain - I guess that's all we can hope for right now. I wish you the best on this long journey.
Stephanie

It is just hard and painful and there is no shortcut... no way around the pain unfortunately it just has to be lived through. It has been over 2 years for me and he is still my first thought in the morning and my last thought at night and it is still sad and painful but it does get easier to deal with and at times I can forget and enjoy the moment. It is so very early for you so be patient with your self and just cry it helps. Hugs!!!

Marie, I am with you. I just went through my first holiday (thanksgiving) without him. I am not looking forward to Christmas or New Year's. I have time off of work for the full holidays this year, which I wish I didn't because it is going to make it drag out horribly without him. I had originally booked the time to spend with him, we had the time all planned out.

I am not going to decorate this year. But even so, I can't escape the holiday festivities in all the stores and offices. So sad to be without him. All we can do is get through it day by day, and minute by minute. I am sure there will be many people online that day and during the holidays if you need to chat. Take care.

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband almost a month before Christmas and it was very hard to get through it. I spent Christmas Eve with my family and many relatives who did their best to help. I thought I was doing pretty well until midnight, when someone decided to make a toast. Then I completely broke down.
The holidays are loaded wih memories, so they are inevitably hard, but I would avoid being on my own then, I think that would have made it even harder.
This year looks as if it will still be hard, but I'm learning to cope. All of us here know what it's like , and hope to be able to help in any way we can. Hugs from Sil

Marie, my heart goes out to you during these days and months of such agony. Losing your beloved husband from the accident will be the most difficult thing you'll ever have to experience. Take solace in the happy memories you have of him and be very patient with yourself. We cannot know why things happen as they do. My husband died suddenly of a heart attack. I try to focus on the years of happiness that we shared. Sometimes this is easier said than done, as you know. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, and one day you will feel the numbness subside and begin to see a light at the end of the tunnel. It is what it is, and we who survive make the best of it. Hang tough and honor your husband with your determination to make it through this. You can do it! Blessings. TJ

Honey, I'm at 10 months and I still cry. We all get better at different rates of time. Don't let anyone tell you that you should be over it by now. People who say that are heartless.

Do your own thing and pray for comfort.

Dear Marie, It is so sad isn't it, death is just not fair, and we who are left have to pick up the pieces and ccope as best we can. In these early months, each day you get through is an achievement, because the pain of grief is excruciatingly acute. Each part of you aches and pains with longing to have things as they were, not as they are. Don't worry about Christmas or teh holidays, they will work themselves out -- be kind to you, as you need caring for. Hugs and prayers. John

Dear Marie, I am with you and I understand the pain and hurt. It is as though something has reached inside and ripping away your inside. But, dear....just read the many discussions here and you will soon feel slightly better at least. I am a newbie here and just like me there are so many others who have lost their spouse. It is so difficult to lose someone and move beyond guilt. It is a struggle that you and I and the rest here will have to face but we all have to come out of it and face the normal life again. We have to strive and work at it. It may be easier said than done but this is exactly what I have started to do.....and it took me 8 months later...hang on there girl...time does heal but it will take time...Love & Hugs and a Special Prayer for you.

Please accept my condolences on the loss of your husband. It is so recent, this process takes a lot of time before things begin to get better. I'm a little over ten months, and it only begins to ease. When I try to sort through his things, I still cry. I have decided to do this a little at a time.

There doesn't seem to be any words or instant cures to relieve the awful pain and loneliness we experience when losing our mates. A question was asked at a grief support meeting I attended was: If I could magically erase all the memories of your spouse and therefore, eliminate all your pain, would you do it? That got me thinking. No, we shared a wonderful relationship. I never want to forget that. So I guess we need to deal with the pain of losing someone we loved so much.

One thing that I kept telling myself even in my darkest hours, was that someday I will smile again. Things will get better in time. We may not want to face life alone but we must. We can't go back to being the person we once were, however, I do believe we can achieve happiness. Please think of this on occaision.

A lot of us here are experiencing some anxiety about the upcoming holidays, myself included. I think I am going to do it very low key and try to survive with calmness, maybe watch movies or find other distractions. We will all get through this, I am sure. We can try to support each other here.

Dear Marie--My heartfelt condolences also go out to you. And I fully understand your pain, as well as everyone else here on the site.

I'm into the 6th month of my loss. He remains in my heart and I often cry.

I dreaded and still dread to some degree, the holidays. However, I have made plans with family, including having my great-niece come home with me Thanksgiving evening and spending two nights to help me decorate for Christmas. I don't believe it will be therapeutic to have nothing in the house when the rest of the world is lit up. I still remember that Christmas signifies the Lord's birth, not the frills and jollies we have become accustomed to. My sister and bro-in-law are coming Xmas day for a simple dinner. My sister-in-law is spending her annual Xmas eve overnight at our house. As for New Year's, going to dinner with good friends and spending night at their house.

Just take a day at a time. You will have better days, but remember you will also have bad ones too. I adopted a cat a week ago, and she has brought life, love and joy back into our home. I look forward to going home now for she is waiting for me, instead of walking into an empty house.

I can't bring my husband back, but I can still love him with all my heart, miss him, and cry when I need to.

And yes, life is certainly not fair.

Marie,

It has been almost 6 months for me and I wish I could say something to take your pain away but I can't seem to take mine away either. I just joined this site today and I will read and try to live to be happy again. He would want that, just as your husband would want you to be happy again too. I still grab his after shave and sniff it before I go to bed, just a comfort thing I guess but it makes me happy. Not looking forward to the holidays but Christmas was his favorite so I will try for him.......... I will keep you in my prayers.

Dear Marie, my heart truly aches for you and what you are going through. All of us on this grief journey experience that sharp pang of remembered loss when we share our stories and struggles. Hang on, sweetie, in any way you can. Yes, you will experience many dark, lonely, and overwhelming days and nights. But there is also hope and a meaningful and purpose-filled future ahead for you. Just take one breath at a time, make it through one minute, one hour, and one day at a time. That's all any of us can do. Find something small in each day to be grateful for, cry your eyes out as often as needed, and know that as unfathomable as it may seem there are brighter days ahead. You WILL come through this Valley of the Shadow of Death. I will be praying for you. All the best, Tami

Hi I am trully sorry for your Loss. Life sends us some hard blows but please know that God is able to sustain you. Also I am here if you want to talk.