Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

3,758 Members

19,465 Posts

0 Online

tink59 05/31/2011

It's been two Months and reality has set in with my youngest daughter who is 22 yrs. old. She is dating a guy not sure how serious it is but she met his parents yesterday, he lives out of town 2 hrs. away. She realized that when she gets married her dad will not be able to walk her down the aisle. She cried the whole 2 hours home and then went to his gravesite and cried over an hour. I had been calling her all day and she didn't answer but it was because she didn't want me to hear her cry. How do you help her when you know how important that day was to you and you could only dream she would have been able to experience it too. Made it through my sons wedding a month after his death can't even imagine what her day will be like when and if she gets married. Crying just thinking of it. Thanks for listening. Dra'

Wmsbaby 05/31/2011

I too have a daughter, will be 19 next month. She is planning to be married when she gets out of college next year. When my husband died she was not even engaged but her response to me when I told her of her dad was "who will walk me down the aisle when i get married?". She has talked to others who faced this. She has decided to set a small table in the entrance with his photo(s) and a memory candle will be lit in his honor. She thinks right now that I will walk her down the aisle.. I let her go over this in her own way. I just listen..

deleted_user 05/31/2011

I think the photo and memory candle is a wonderful idea.

Carla

Nicker07 05/31/2011

Right now the loss of her father with the knowledge that he won't be there has got to hit hard, she will take the grief steps backwards and forwards until she figures it out.

Maybe putting your heads together thinking real hard of what he would have done or wanted to do - something that will show out he is there if not physically in spirit - something that will truly show others he is...

I am sorry you have to struggle through this...

deleted_user 05/31/2011

I can really relate to that. I was 38 when I married for the last time. My father had died not long before my wedding. I had my great-uncle walk me down the aisle, but all I could think of was my father wasn't there to be with me. I was near tears as I approached my husband to be.
Your daughter will find a way to honor her dear father at her wedding. Judith

sadheart56 06/01/2011

My nephew put up a table with photos and a memory candle. It will be emotional for her anyway you do it. Praying for her.

Christine

Join the Conversation