If people ask how you're doing, just tell them 'the best that I can.' Most don't actually want all the gritty details, most people can't handle it. In my office there were a few emotional vampires that relished the idea of someone suffering - sad but there are people like that. For that type, just tell them "F.I.N.E." - they won't know it stands for F***ed up Insecure Neurotic and Exhausted (or Frustrated Insane Nervous and Emotional or whatever you want it to stand for). A friend here suggested that to me early on, and it came in very handy at work.

I had colleagues that were wonderful, and for the most part my managers were, too, but I also did my part by getting counseling through theEmployee Assistance Program which not only helped me but it also showed them that I was doing my best to deal with my situation. That helped me keep my job I think, especially when they would find me weeping in the hallway. Ugh... Waterproof mascara became a necessity....

I, too, lost a tremedous amount of weight. One of the first work gatherings I attended, one of the bimbos commented on my weight loss and wondered which diet I used and how much weight I lost. Before I lost my cool with this idiot, someone else intervened. Looking back on it, I wish I had the presence of mind to simply say, "235 pounds and his name was Cliff." Ah well, I got through it regardless.

Hang in there. Try not to stress too much about it in advance. I did find carrying a paper journal to write in at lunch time helped me organize my thoughts and express my feelings safely. I also took walks on my coffee breaks to de-stress, which also helped me sleep better at night. I hope your return to work goes okay.

Love and Hugs,
Martha

After I returned to work I was surprised to learn there were a lot of hidden widow s in the ranks this don't share there a widow for the exact reason, they don't want to be know as the widow.
I went back to work after two weeks, I had the same fear. Yes there were tears, there were gossipy people and there are those who don't know what to say so they ignore the situation. For the most part I adopted the attitude I'm here to work if your offering me a shoulder to cry on let's go out after work.
My standard response still is I'm doing th best I can under the circumstances. When I was feeling flip I would say I got up showered and I'm here, your welcome.
It won't be as bad as you imagine, I find I tend to borrow trouble. Just take a deep breath.

Thank you Martha and Laurie. I appreciate your suggestions. I'm getting counseling from the EAP program too. I'm feeling better about returning to work, just not looking forward to coming back to an empty home.

I too am toying with the idea of returning to work. The main reason I'm not yet is the same thought - returning to an empty home. I guess it will happen when it's supposed to.