I think so

I don't know if it is normal or not. I've learned grief is personal for each individual but may I suggest you try to focus on the sweet memories and the good times you shared? No relationship is perfect but it sounds as if the good times out numbered the bad so why not reflect back on those beautiful moments and try not dwell on the arguments. I write to my husband in my journal and tell him I love him. Practice and direct your thoughts. Peace and hugs.

I went thru the same in the beginning. Use to fight with regrets all the time. But in the end no marriage is perfect because we aren't. As long as they knew how much we loved them and still do that's all that matters. Don't beat yourself over it. That's what forgiveness is all about. I had to learn I had to forgive myself for things my wife wasn't here to forgive me for. Let yourself off the hook. It doesn't do any good to keep yourself tied to something that can't be changed, they would tell us the same thing. They loved us also. Besides when we all get there we can tell
them then.
Take care, Tim

I also struggled with that. My mind went back a couple years to little tiffs and remarks that were said. I agree with Tim, we just have to get to the point where we can forgive ourselves.

I also thought about if the situation was reversed, and I had been the one to leave him here to navigate his life without me. I know that he would be doing the exact same thing. As I was thinking this, I realized that everything he would have beaten himself up over, I'd already forgiven and forgotten, never once doubting how much he loved and cared for me. So, I have to believe that he would be of the same mindset. I hope that this helps.

Thank you so much everyone. Your words are helpful and appreciated. My mind is all over the place and hour to hour what upsets or worries me changes. I miss him so much. This pain is so deep and devastating.

Yes. A do-over or just another day might have made a difference. He was already gone by the time 911 arrived. I am so mad that he left me and now I realize what he meant by some odd remarks!

Yes, it is normal. My husband passed suddenly as well and I have/had similar thoughts as you posted. After 35 years of marriage, we also didn't argue about the big issues, but small things annoyed us. I think it is common that when a spouse passes we tend to focus on things we should have done or shouldn't have. Take care.

Chris, I'm sorry for the loss of your love,,I think regret and guilt are the two most useless emotions and dwelling on them serves no useful purpose, but too torture us..We can't changed what happened..My husband Dennis and I used say we aren't perfect, but we are perfect for each other..
Just remember as fortunate as you were to have had him in your life he was also fortunate to have had you in his..We used bicker or have disagreement daily, then end up laughing at them a few minutes later..Usually, just silly things...We both have a great sense of humor and that helped..;-)
So in other words Chris FL, you are normal...Take care of you right now..he's being well taken care of...Watch for signs from him, I and my daughter have had many, from my skeptic, Dennis.
We had worked out a code to prove that their is an afterlife,which was to happen on my birthday.. which I had forgotten about until by birthday after he died, We were also married on my birthday...I woke up that morning and remembered it..I said OK sweetie, today is your chance to prove there is an afterlife...
It did come true and happened just the way we talked about..I've written about it and many other signs I've had, on here...See if you can find Signs, written by Laurie..on 12/22/16...There are many by lots of us who are going on this journey through grieve, from are loved ones..Also, talk to your husband, I do all the time...
Take care..and Peace and hugs...Gail..

Don't cry because it's over..Smile because it happened..Dr. Seuss....;-)

Chris, listen to Kclark, who speaks words of wisdom.

Thank you for the additional responses. Greatly appreciated. Having a tough day so just riding the waves. Nice when others reach out to you.

It is normal. There are unanswered questions, unfulfilled promises, lonely days, empty nights.
Our journey is now intertwined with grief. The problems that we face @ times pull us down but it does't last forever.
Life Isn't fair, now we must choose how to face tomorrow. Try to think positive thoughts, remember the good times.
Take baby steps
Give yourself credit for your accomplishments big & small
Blessings
jdp

I struggle with that a lot. I can primarily remember the rough times right now for some reason. Looking at pictures sometimes helps a little. Seeing us smiling together kind of reminds me that we had many many happy times too.

And talking with friends that we shared good times with too.

my experience was even more worse because I saw everything unfold in my own eyes,the minute the doctor told me he was gone,there was this feeling chill that I cannot explain it,the only thing that came into my mind was I just can't be living while he is dead,I just have to go with him,so I started walking out of the hospital so I can be ran over by a car but they held me so tight and I screamed for them to leave me alone,God I just wanted to die that minute that moment and I could have done it,despite that I didn't eat for 4 consecutive days,no water no nothing,I got sooo skinny,lost almost
10kg,after that events followed I couldn't sleep all I did do is cry and not eat,I started experiencing sleep paralysis and I tell you that is the most scariest thing to experience,after all this I still wonder how am I still alive,but I found this group and I realized that I wasn't alone going through it,and so I really got encouraged a lot!

I keep reliving those type of things as well. I just wish I could say I'm sorry I was such a bitch sometimes. Joe is the only man I ever said I love you to. I never said it to anyone I dated until him. I saved that phrase for "the one". Hang in there.