Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Lois11 09/22/2011

Yesterday.. Turns out Ken died of natural causes.. a Bacterial Infection in his blood that went to the inside his heart affected the valves and that caused two small brain bleeds here in our hospital and two major ones in the Ambulance down to the University Hospital.. The coroner reviewed all we had written on our concerns of Ken's care and the records from our hospital that were sent down to them and he concluded they did all they could for the symptoms he had and the proper procedures and antibiotics He said he can see that there was miscommunication between the medical staff and us and that is why we didn't feel Ken got the proper care. He also said that the Coroners investigation is now closed.. So that is that.. Give us some peace knowing he got the proper care in the end.. Doesn't make it any easier to know a 61 year old man was okay 11 days prior to his death ..
I've made up my mind to move to an apt.. going to sell the house. I will be moving by Nov. 1st. then will put the house on the market.. I'm looking forward to the move want to be out of the house before Christmas I don't think I could stand to be here alone then.. I told Ken we were moving and he didn't object..lol I will put his urn in his favorite type of bag.. grocery recycleable.. he bought them every time he did the shopping and we will leave this house together for the last time.. we have lived here for 28 years. The kids are pleased I have decided to do this..

lovelos 09/22/2011

I am glad that Ken received the proper care because that will give you some peace of mind even though it doesn`t make your loss any easier. Good luck with your move, for me it definately was the right thing to do. Larry and I also lived in our home for 28 years but moved here a week before he died because it took us so long to sell the house. Know I am thinking of you and sending you my prayers, Hugs Lu Ann

kynessie 09/22/2011

I hope you have some peace with this finding. Good luck on your move and I hope you find a great apartment.

Nessie from KY

deleted_user 09/22/2011

The surgeon my husband had did not know why he died following surgery to repair the mitral valve so he asked my permission to have an autopsy done. However I have not received a copy and for whatever reason I have not asked for one. It would not change the outcome and as I saw how much the doctor cared, I would not sue no matter what. I only know what it says on the death certificate.

Lois11 09/23/2011

It was the University Hospital that called the Coroner in.. They didn't like the condition Ken was in when he was brought down there.. So they asked for the Coroner to look over his case and investigate it.. Has brought us all some piece of mind.. It took 6 1/2 months to get the report. I can't believe how fast this time is going..

Comfortablynumb 09/23/2011

It feels like you are at peace having those doubts resolved, and getting ready to move forward. It is wonderful to learn that little by little things are getting better.
Wish you the best in your new home.

NewRoadsForMe 09/23/2011

I'm happy you have had this burden lifted (the not knowing). Best wishes in your new apartment, and I'm so glad your kids are in sync with your plans. Hugs to you!
Kathleen

edithbathgate 09/23/2011

The local coroner insisted on doing and autopsy on my huband because he was only 57, died suddenly at home, had just gotten out of the hospital for a protate procedure. It turned out he had and enlarged heart and a 75% blocked coronary artery. I was glad to learn the death was due to a natural cause. he had had a good clean EKG the prior week so this was quite a shock. I now know these problems don't show up on EKGs. I have read here of people suffering long, painful illnesses and I am beginning to be glad J went swiftly. He was a man who loved God and lived "ready to go." I hope to do the same.
I can honestly say that the autopsy was very hard to read. I understand your feelings about it. I am glad yopu got what reassurance you could from it. I feel guilty at times that I didn;t realize that J had a bad heart, but it isn't really logical. It s just a feeling based on a deep desire to have saved him.
I hope you find peace and comfort in knowing that your love sustained him in life. I'm glad you've found new digs. Enjoy!

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