lol I have grandkid like that. No respect and sense of entitlement I call it. I have found though that problems keep me busy so I don't miss hubby as much which is helpful. Stay strong, you are the mother. Like my horses, she is trying to climb to the top in the pecking order.

Awww Mel I am sorry about the stresses of a teen on top of your loss. Yes you are right you need breaks and many hugs. I do have one suggestion... Choose your battles wisely and always follow through... No idle threats and consistency is key... Most importantly BREAKS... Keep venting we are here! God bless both of you!
Best wishes and Hugs,
Mary

I have 15 year old twin boys!!!! I can relate!!!!! Now I am doing this by myself, makes me even crazier!!!

Fair warning, it doesn't get better when they grow up. My youngest of 3 is 31. You worry about their mate choices, you worry about their career choices. You worry all the time. It's like what Jason Robards said in the Parenthood movie. You never get to the end zone, you never get to spike the ball. Parenthood goes on forever.

I understand because I was a mother of a teenager too. However, without a doubt, death of a parent is quite a trauma, that might needs to be addressed through therapy.
My grief counselor provides services to grieving individuals regardless of age. One day i came to her office unexpectedly early, I didcovered unusual disarray of things all over the floor - broken pieces of wood, torn pieces of papers, and fabric.
Seeing my surprised look, she had to explain that she just had finished a session with a bereaved teenage child. She told me that he lost a parent but he buried inside pain, and his agony, did not have a chance to really grieve at home. Very often children want to be strong for others, they suppressed their pain. In her office they feel safe to finally let it out, and it's usually released with anger, because children do not know how to articulate it, she offers them stuff to hit or even break.
It was such a revelation for me, I realized that my child was also bereaved although he did not look or acted like me, he also needed his chance to express his pain. And when he finally did, it was awful, but I was prepared and I was understanding.
Grief and anger is a part of it; it is something we can control at times, neither do our kids... Wish you loving patience with your daughter, she is like you, lost someone very dear.
Peace to you and your family.

I agree with Comfortablynumb on this one. Your daughter is going to go through the anger and guilt (etc.) just like the rest of us, and just like the rest of us, she is having to put on the fake smile all day at school and doesn't have anyone in her circle who "gets it." Counseling might be a good idea.

I got counseling for both my guys. Both my guys are on the autism spectrum so life is a little different for us. The younger one was 19 when Cliff died and a senior in high school. It seemed like the only thing he could express to me for a long time was anger. I was glad he got counseling.

I have to tell you, too, that when I finally began a new relationship, my younger son was very pissed off at me for it. The older one was fully supportive, the younger one not. We got through it by talking it out, but it was not easy, and it was not an overnight solution. I think a lot of what swayed him, too, was the feedback of his older brother. Perhaps your older kids can help with your daughter. Just a thought.

Parenting is never easy, but it becomes a real trial when one of the parents dies. Teens are always a hassle, but bereaved teens are a real handful. Hang in there. They do turn into nice people again.....

Love and Hugs,
Martha

She took me to a point of explosion and I vomitted exactly how I felt and what I thought.
1. I listed all the things I've done for her over the last couple of days without a thank you.
2. I told her I am exhausted as a result of this.
3. I repeated her negativity to illustrate the relationship from her end.
4. I reiterated that my house is my house and she will NOT make decisions about where things go without consulting with me first. (I installed hard wood floors last year by myself and she doesn't like the rugs that protect the floor)
I don't like yelling or cussing but it got her attention and she stopped being so negative. So there. I got it out. I went to sleep. We are good.
Oh, she did say thank you :)

You have my sympathy especially doing this alone. I went through two teenage girls but I had my husband's help. Like you, sometimes it helps me to vent about my problems so feel free to vent here anytime. There will always be someone that understands. What used to help me keep myself under control when they would talk back with a smart mouth and attitude, etc., I would think, "I Hope you have one just like you". In other words, The Mother's Curse. Then I would smile and walk off. Well, now those days have come. My grandkids are becoming teenagers with the smart mouths, etc. I just smile inside when I hear about it. I probably sound cold and uncaring but I'm not. The Mother's Curse was just good therapy for me and helped me through all of those years.

I'm so sorry, Mel. That sounds terrible. I hope you can work things out with your daughter before it gets any worse and you lose each other. Big Hugs to you both...

I do not think that it matters how old your children are. When they are in a state of grieving they will say and do many things. My youngest son is 33. He has two sons, 3 & 15. My son is grieving so hard that he at times he cannot cope. He refuses to go to counseling and I see him going deeper and deeper in grief. Yesterday it came to a head where I had to ask the 3 years old mother to come pick up my grandson. I asked son to leave my house. Not sure what will happen. What I know is that I have to protect a 3 year. The best place for him is with his mother. My heart is breaking and I do not know what my sons future is looking like.
Six months ago he was devoted father who would do anything for his children now he is lost. I know that my son has to pick himself up I cannot do it.