Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
I can relate so well to all of these, I am sure most of you can as well.
Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.
Edna St. Vincent Millay
Everyone can master a grief but he that has it.
William Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing
Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.
Vicki Harrison
You will lose someone you cant live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesnt seal back up. And you come through. Its like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.
Anne Lamott
I should know enough about loss to realize that you never really stop missing someone-you just learn to live around the huge gaping hole of their absence.
Alyson Noel, Evermore
There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.
Washington Irving
Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.
Edna St. Vincent Millay
Everyone can master a grief but he that has it.
William Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing
Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.
Vicki Harrison
You will lose someone you cant live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesnt seal back up. And you come through. Its like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.
Anne Lamott
I should know enough about loss to realize that you never really stop missing someone-you just learn to live around the huge gaping hole of their absence.
Alyson Noel, Evermore
There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.
Washington Irving
I really needed this this morning. It's been a long week. I need to settle down before going back to work Sunday. I appreciate the post, and your support.
Peace, Tim
Here's another quote by Cheryl Strayed. In this case, the reader had a miscarriage. But I felt exactly the same with my partner.
"Dont listen to those people who suggest you should be over your daughters death by now. The people who squawk the loudest about such things have almost never had to get over anything. Or at least not anything that was genuinely, mind-fuckingly, soul-crushingly life altering. Some of those people believe theyre being helpful by minimizing your pain. Others are scared of the intensity of your loss and so they use their words to push your grief away. Many of those people love you and are worthy of your love, but they are not the people who will be helpful to you when it comes to healing the pain of your daughters death.
They live on Planet Earth. You live on Planet My Baby Died."
"This is how you get unstuck, Stuck. You reach. Not so you can walk away from the daughter you loved, but so you can live the life that is yoursthe one that includes the sad loss of your daughter, but is not arrested by it. The one that eventually leads you to a place in which you not only grieve her, but also feel lucky to have had the privilege of loving her. That place of true healing is a fierce place. Its a giant place. Its a place of monstrous beauty and endless dark and glimmering light. And you have to work really, really, really hard to get there, but you can do it. Youre a woman who can travel that far. I know it. Your ability to get there is evident to me in every word of your bright shining grief star of a letter."
"You will never stop loving your daughter. You will never forget her. You will always know her name. But she will always be dead. Nobody can intervene and make that right and nobody will. Nobody can take it back with silence or push it away with words. Nobody will protect you from your suffering. You cant cry it away or eat it away or starve it away or walk it away or punch it away or even therapy it away. Its just there, and you have to survive it. You have to endure it. You have to live through it and love it and move on and be better for it and run as far as you can in the direction of your best and happiest dreams across the bridge that was built by your own desire to heal. Therapists and friends and other people who live on Planet My Baby Died can help you along the way, but the healingthe genuine healing, the actual real deal down-on-your-knees-in-the-mud changeis entirely and absolutely up to you."
Love
Janifer