I will never know the answer to your question, and that's okay. I blocked him to avoid hearing his sarcasm. My concern is about you. It's very sweet of you to care about Smilinjack when he hasn't seemed to be interested in supporting us. He see's himself in a different role on DS and that's fine. Just don't let your sweet nature and concern cloud your happiness. You've come a long way since losing your husband and you deserve happiness and a life you can enjoy again. Take care of you. You are the important one here. Sharon

I think that Smilinjack probably needs us more than he lets on. Sometimes I can feel his terrible pain - and perhaps this is the way he expresses that - I am not justifying his harsh and hurtful words - but in this time of grief - there doesn't appear to be any comfort - and sometimes we are "out of our minds". The point is, people become possessive of their grief, almost proud of it. They want to believe its like no one elses. But it is. Its exactly like everybody elses. Grief is like a shark. Its been around forever, and in that time theres been just about no evolution. Because its perfect the way it is.
I will continue to keep smilinjack in my prayers because clearly he needs our support.

I agree with Catherine. smilinjack has, and obviously still is, suffering a lot of pain. And venting anger. Grief has a mind of its own and I'm going to sound like a broken record, so pardon me. Each of our grief journeys is a personal one. We all don't grieve the same.

I always give smilinjack the benefit of the doubt, just like I have driftnmnt. It was shameful and sad to me that in one of driftnmnt discussion topics, it was brought to everyone's attention that he was drunk, again. I thought this to be in bad taste and totally inappropriate. If that was his way of coping with his pain, who are we to judge?

I think Jack is in a lot of pain and bitterness. Some people approach life with anger and hatefulness. His comments though have thrown people off track in any effort to be of comfort to him. It is frustrating to reach out to help someone who would just as well bite your hand. He makes understanding a challenge and pity the end result. What is the saying about honey and vinegar...

Everyone should have the opportunity to express their feelings here. We don't have to like or agree how they do so. I find myself being quite bitter and angry with people lately when they try to belittle my grief and tell me how they think I should be doing by now. Same goes to the people who tell me they know what I am going through because their dog just died. I don't have the time nor the patience to deal with these jerks. I just respond with whatever comes to mind and move on. Sometimes I make myself laugh.

While we are all grieveing, we are not in the same place at the same time..........so one post can evoke a different response in each of us, depending on where we are at that particular moment..........to me that is the beauty this site......................no offense taken by posts, rathera willingness to appreciate we are all hurting...........
Lorita

sometimes the way people treat and react is not caused by grief...sometimes it's a lifestyle.
"prost" to that one!!

I can totally relate to the reply by confusedlost.

I am right up there with her, and totally agree that everyone should have an opportunity here. Intentional smart remarks are not necessary, but I try to respect where the remark is coming from. Is it their personality, the way they vent anger? I don't know, so who am I to judge or make an assumption?

If smilinjack's comments and behavior has been offensive, why has he not been removed from the board a long time ago? I am sure that some have reported him, but he is still participating.

If he is deliberately trying to antagonoize, he's not going to admit it anyway, and it really serves no purpose to know. So, we have two choices. Give him a break in his grief, or ignore him.

Ladies, I must say I am surprised by all your responses and thank you. Interesting that Jack has not answered the question which I put in all seriousness, not just to be cute. I have known several people in my lifetime who displayed attitudes much like Jack, and they have been that way in their normal daily lives, not following a major tragedy, so I believe grief is not totally the issue here. Like Jack, these people regularly antagonize others, and end up having few friends. I just cannot understand why anyone would deliberately do this, unless perhaps it is some kind of power issue - maybe they like to manipulate people into getting upset? laurabp

Hey smilinjack ~ I am hoping you have a good day today. ~ Sandra

Laura, I had an issue with Jack, but we resolved it through the message section of this site. There is now mutual respect between us. Jack doesn't know anything about my life, nor do I know anything about his.

I don't have the energy to dig in his head and get him to tell me why he does what he does. He isn't going to tell me anyway.

If he truly offends you or anyone else, use the "Report Abuse" icon offered at the bottom of the screen. Just because Jack openly attacks the participants of this site doesn't mean I should choose to openly attack him. A tit for a tat doesn't resolve anything.

Ok, time to close this discussion down I think. Just a note to Debbie - I am NOT ATTACKING JACK! I am simply officially declaring that I consider him not to be following the "rules" of this site which is to say positive things to people, not to insult them. There, I have had my say. No further comments. laurabp

Laura, I sent you a message through this site. Thanks, Debbie

Perhaps they should rename this site "Jack's site" - for it is evident, of late, that is what it is turning into.

Jack - You do make me stop and think even though I don't understand a lot of what you say. Sometimes you have made me laugh and that is good. I agree, I wouldn't wish this on anyone; but it seems to be ahead for many.