Stay positive, hang in there, one step at a time, one day at a time, time heals all wounds, et al, ad nauseam. I totally get it, but then again, what can people say? They care, but they just don't understand. And, honestly, what they say is true and their advice is good, even though you want to punch them right in the face when they say it! Wouldn't it be great if they would say do you want to talk about it? What can I do for you? But they don't say that, because they don't want to invade your privacy or make you feel sad, and, again, they just don't understand. Try reaching out to them, Anna. You may be surprised how understanding and supportive some people are when they understand what you need. You really need to talk to someone. Isolating yourself is not healthy at all, especially if you suffer from anxiety and depression. It's easy to do, but it just lets that wretched tape keep playing over and over in your head. Have you thought about joining any support groups in your area? I'm sure if you look you can find some. Just talking to other people face-to-face can really help. I'm worried about you, girly, and the last thing you need to do is lose your job. Please try to take care of you. <3 Anita

thanks Anita ... you're right.

Hugs

Hugs to you, Zammit. I understand...

Present without comment
https://www.dailystrength.org/journals/stop-forcing-yourself-to-be-happy

Hugs

I totally get it zammit......I lost my husband about a month ago. I do not want to go on....I cry and scream and beg God to send him back to me or take me too. I can't bear the thought of what could be many years alone. I will never marry again or even have a relationship. My one true love is gone. Going to the grocery store sent me into a total breakdown. Everyone thinks because he was sick for so long, that now I should be happy because I'm free. I'm not happy....all I want is my husband. Why is life so cruel? I wish I could give you a big hug, because I know how you feel.

I know what your going through through. I too lost the love of my life, three months ago. I also beg and plead with God to send him back to me. I would do anything to have him back. I don't stop thinking about him for a second. I have stopped working, have lost interest in life. It might get easier but I will never stop missing my beautiful beautiful Joel. He was also my best friend. We simply loved being together. We didn't go out much just wanted to be with each other. We would put our music on every night after supper, and dance for hours. Now I dance alone, tears streaming down my face, I pretend he's dancing with me. Thank you everyone for listening. Zammit I know how you are feeling. Sending you a big sad hug ..

People say a lot of things Zam. Mostly they don't understand what they are saying or how it will be heard. Sometimes though there can be a nugget of truth in it. The problem is often with the context in which it's given and received. Certainly we'll never have a positive thought about loosing our partners but, just as we can have negative thoughts, so too can we have positive ones. Like the warm sunshine and cool breeze you mentioned, we may have to look for the positives. They're cumulative too. Each new one we find and acknowledge adds to the ones we've already found and makes it easier to discover the next one waiting out there for us.
Peace and ((hugs)),
~John

Lindonn, my husband was also sick, in and out of hospitals since I met him and it intensified toward the end. Yet about six months before his end he thought he was turning a corner in his words, and getting better. So it's hard to accept. I didn't mind being strong for him, it made me feel good. Now I kind of feel like you when I know I'm alone (he no longer there). I hope you, Zammit and all of us will endure.

Hi Zammit. Tomorrow is 6 months for me. On Saturday I did a trail run that his military unit has every year. This year he was not at the finish line to cheer me on. All his friends were there, everybody was happy to see me, that was great. But yet so sad, he loved the military, seeing everybody there....... And for the first time i did not get the sorries, the shames, the it will get betters, they just asked how I was and how are the kids and then we talked of many other things. That was great. They know my heart is breaking, but this time, they cheered me up, life didn't stop, even though it felt like it. Yesterday 26 weeks, tomorrow 6 months, so time is moving on, not waiting for me to get my act together, and that is good I think, living for the next 40 odd years feeling like a blob is not a prospect I am looking forward to. I cry when I am sad, I smile when I am happy, I hug his blanket when I miss him, I watch home videos to hear his voice, see us dancing, I get up, sometimes with a struggle, drink coffee on the porch and every morning I try to appreciate the sun coming up, the birds singing, the flowers at spring (south africa now) and I am thankful I had him for 24 years. Hugs and strength