I think that is pretty spot on. I am sorry to say that I was once one of those that did not know what to say and was scared at the intensity of the grief expressed. My husband was the first person really close to me to die. Realizing how I once was, helped me to accept / forgive those that were unable to cope / help. Now my experience has brought new understanding and I will never again be that person that disappears or shuts the grieving person out.

That is so true. I was the same way. But now unfortunately I understand

the old saying, " you never know, until it happens to you", rings so true. So now I am very careful, and constructive, but truthful in how I talk to others, who are suffering etc. Much love and big hugs carla

What I am discovering is that I have a level of empathy for those experiencing a recent death that was previously unknown to me. I no longer dodge the person by "offering my condolences" like that is the secret password to be left off the hook. No, I've now experienced this three times in the last month and a half with people I work with -- I just go up to the person, tell them I heard about the loss of their _____, that I lost my wife ___ months ago, and that I really really understand what they must be feeling. They give me the same look -- gazing into my eyes as if they are silently saying, I can't believe someone actually understands, we hug, and an unspoken bond of love is formed. I am unable to speak much more because my conversation with them is not about my grief, but about comforting them in theirs. So I can picture Juanita looking down at me from heaven saying, Finally, you are starting to let love flow out of you. She had an endless stream. It's a very good way to live. ~~~ Scottie