I know my post might of been tough but, we all think it. I just decided to post it. We are in a group that you don't want to be in. Let's help each other, we understand each other.

Damn autocorrect.

MJP- I cried anywhere, anytime I felt like it ! Which really means everywhere, every time for me! Lost my wife of 30yrs, 5mos ago. She was my universe!! Yes, those who have not lost a spouse will never truly know our pain and will try with good intentions, to express their support best way they know how. No insensitivity intended! They just happen to be naive about the approach, since they've never been where we are now. Heard all that you've mentioned from friends and family too, one even said "let me take you out for a good time, so you can forget briefly" what he had in mind shoulda been enough for me to knock him out where he stood.
But he mean't well, and apologized right away. So just allow more elbow room for more comments coming your way that would require your restraint. Keep in mind the whole time that they are not meant to spite or hurt you intentionally. Those of us already on this boat of pain, cruising aimlessly for now, can only turn to each other for genuine support, and hope that the sea of emotion we're sailing on remains stable till we can arrive safely to each of our ports of acceptance.
God Bless and Stay Strong!!

Cry when you need to, talk about it when you need to, it's all a part of grieving. If people don't like it tough. I feel they don't have to be my friends if they don't want to listen or if they are uncomfortable when I cry.

First of all, I feel your pain and I'm so sorry what you're going through. I have to share this experience that I had today that relates to us crying. I lost my beautiful wife almost 2 months ago. A little history here. My wife made my lunch every day to take to work for years. My wife Tracey ironically was a health guru. Every day I would look in my lunch and there would be cut up apples slices, and almost every day she would quiz me when I got home if I ate my apple slices. I would say most of the time I did and some of the times I lied about it, you can only eat so many apple slices all your long. Anyway, today when I went to work, I ordered a cheeseburger and onion rings and a piece of cake. I actually felt like I was cheating on her. The minute I started eating The cheeseburger, I just started crying thinking how I would never have those apple slices again. Not to mention, there is always a love note on my napkin. I'm actually crying right now typing this. The old me would feel stupid even sharing this with anyone. Point in case, cry all you want. We all know on this site that you've lost everything. (I love you Tracey). Dave

You never know when you're going to break out in tears That's one thing I've learned, and it's the same for all of us. There is nothing tough about your post and nothing to explain. You can be chugging along on some days, feeling like you're actually going to make it through this, and then the next day you can't stop crying. Pray4myheart pretty much summed it up. Everyone has the best of intentions, and they certainly do not mean to hurt you, but they just don't understand. Unless you've been through this horror show you just don't get it. I've had people tell me that they lost their father or their brother or their best friend , etc, to show me that they know the pain I'm feeling. Sorry folks, but it's just not the same. Sometimes people can be very callous , but mostly they mean very well, and they're just completely out of their element. They want to help you, but they don't know how and they feel awkward. Even though I'm only two months into this journey , I tend to give people a break unless they say something completely stupid, which they sometimes do! I guess the thing to understand or try to understand is that they truly CAN'T understand unless it has happened to them. We belong to a very exclusive club that no one wants to be a member of. <3 Anita

I so get what you are saying!!!! I am actually at this point NOT speaking of my husband much, except my parents and sisters and my two kids (5 and half months), people think, oh it's over 5 months, why is she still crying, why still moody sometimes, get over it now. I even, for the love of all that's holy, have someone in my office asking me am I in a mood!!!!!!! Yes I am! You can't get over it, is now part of who I am, I lost the love of my life, I want to talk about him, but am sick and tired of the "looks" and the whispers behind my back. Rather just leave me alone if you cannot walk with me.

Kateydid123 - I miss my Friday afternoon chilli bites. Bought for myself the other day at our special butchery, did not taste the same. I got for my birthday also, this year not getting any. Miss the small things so much, the little gestures of love, unseen by others and not understood by anyone

I understand I am going through the the same thing people don't understand and think you ok so no one bothers to call or come by and I feel so alone and lonely. my son and I went last week to see a cover band that does jimmy Buffett music my husband loved this band. It was really hard have not listened to Buffett since his funeral. i don't go many places cause I don't want to go alone. So hard to go on

I was the same way, not wanting to go places. I would force myself to go to restaurants by myself to adapt to my new reality. I would go to malls and such. That helped. The loneliness does subside once your mind decides it time. We are all on such a terrible journey of adjustment. I finally went out of state for a long weekend two weeks ago and it was just what I needed. I went to see family but, just getting out of my state helped.

I'll post a tiny story here.

Today, my 8-year-old son hugged me and said, “You are the best mom in the whole entire world!” I smiled and sarcastically replied, “How do you know that? You haven’t met every mom in the whole entire world.” My son squeezed me tighter and said, “Yes I have. You are my world.”