I am only 25 days into this nightmare. I went to the secratary of state to get the titles changed for the cars.

I know they take training to be rude, but I am waving around a death certificate and this woman could not have been ruded.

I was fuming. I did not say anything but kept throwing the pen back at her as all these papaers had to be signed.

I would have asked for the manager, but she was the manager.

Hope you get the bed thing cleared up, if it a big store, call customer service and clmib up the chain. I can bear teeth through the phone:)

Peace to you
Dually

I'm so sorry you have had to deal with this. And at only 2 months, you are not at all strong enough to handle this with ease. I had the same thing happen with a brand new mattress. when they laid it on my bed, I saw that it had a big stain (oil or floor dirt or something) on one corner. I got the same type offer. I decided to just keep the d***n thing and put the soiled spot down at the foot covered up by the sheet. Every time I change the sheets I get mad when I see that stain. But.....I guess it could have been worse. I pray for a satisfactory solution to this situation. You truly have my sympathy! You are not alone!

Stacks and stacks of it, it's like wading through treacle. I have brought a new filing cabinet to keep it all in. So many forms, so much procedure, such a strain all the time. I had to change a lot of household outgoings into my name and you would think they had never dealt with someone dying before in fact there are a couple of things I have had to keep in Chris,s name because there was no other way around it.

It's been a long hard road but I can see the end a bit more now after 7 months with just one or two loose ends still to be tidied. It does sort out in the end but it is very complicated and frustrating. But I think in our grief that everything becomes so stressful, I had a handyman cut my grass and put a flat pack together for me today and that has worn me out even though it wasn't me who actually did it. Everything seems like a great big effort when all we want right now is peace.

Good luck with it all and hope it gets sorted for you.

I completely understand how you feel. It seemed for the first six months that something new came up every day that I had to take care of by myself, of course. I can only tell you how I handled this stress of the paperwork. I completed one thing a day. It might not have been anymore than one phone call or one visit to one office, but I managed to get something done. I wrote of list of all the things I needed to accomplish and at 17 months I still have that list. I found out that it's a work in progress.

I decided to sell a camper, truck, 4 wheeler, utility trailer, pontoon, a gun collection, and band equipment during the first few months. The reason I did this is because most of those items were depreciating as they sat there. Amazingly, I had everything sold by the six month mark. I had no idea that those items would sell so fast in this economy.

I refinanced my home at 7 months as this was something Brian wanted to do before he passed away. We had a high interest rate that he wanted to get rid of. I managed to get that done in less than 30 days. Again, each day I tried to accomplish only one thing. If I got more than one thing done, I was happy with myself.

I've had crisis along the way with a leaking pipe in the garage, carpet cleaning, bug spraying, transferring titles, dealing with court as I had to go thru probate for a few items in his name only.

As I sit here and think of all the things I've done in the past year, I'm proud of myself and I know that Brian is proud of me too. I wish you best and I hope you can find the strength in yourself to manage the stress of all the changes and work that needs to be done. It's been the hardest year of my life and, so far, the second year has been less stressful and I've had a much more clear mind about things.

Nessie from KY

I'm way past most of you - it's been almost 4 yrs. since I lost my husband. Two days ago when I answered the phone, a woman said, "may I speak to Frank?" I said, "No - because he's been dead 4 yrs." and hung up. I used to be kinder when that happened - but they should at least say "Mr. ______" I think. Maybe they marked him off that list!!
Doye

To Doyew

was not very nice to a market researcher recently she caught me at a bad moment and said can i speak to bill please i answered not unless you know a good medium but then she was not very nice because she then asked if i could answer some questions instead

You go Rohama, I got to keep that medium thing in mind:)

It never fails to amaze me how thoughtless people can be. I've been fortunate that I took care of everything before Roger died so there were only a few legalities that I had to deal with. I did, however, have a huge problem with a bed I bought just days before he died. It's and adjustable bed and it was very expensive. The mattress was so uncomfortable that I couldn't even lie on it. The man at the mattress store was so unwavering in his stand that I made the decision to buy the stupid bed and I had to live with it. I wonder if these people ever need a kind word. Maybe when their time comes to need some understanding they will deal with the same cold unfeeling people that are plaguing us now.

When my Lee passed 6 months ago, my brother-in-law stayed with me the good part of a week and helped me get some of the legal stuff done. They had lost their sister and mother and he knew what had to be done so he helped me make a list. I had to refinance the car as it was only in Lee's name, I have been taken to court 3x for past rent when he lost his job, we had no life insurance so there is nothing but my disability to satisfy what debts I can. I am still sending out copies of his death certificate this far along. Yes, there are so many legal issues that I never dreamed of and since he passed suddenly, were never talked about. I hope things get better for you and you use the advice of marking one thing at a time off your list.
Hugs and understanding.
Gwen

I found it an added misery.

Trying to close facebook and myspace accounts, some telephone services were a nightmare. Stopping constant mail outs took over a year.

I did find one charity in the UK that helps with the mail out stuff for widows/ers though.

15 weeks for me, I am starting to get angry, cynical, and intolerant of people. I've been told that things will carry on for a couple of years until our finances are simplified. I hate it. My kids think my new job is a "business woman" - I am a nurse and not happy with this new job!
Fortunately I have found people generally good and caring in my dealings. But as time goes on, their empathy is shrinking, though my grief seems to be sinking deeper. Others are carrying on, I realize more reasons to miss him on a daily or hourly basis.
He always tolerated my grumpy and cynical moods - not sure others will :-)
Will the paperwork ever end?....I doubt it!

Yes - MOST of the paperwork will end - try making a list of everything you need to do - then when you complete one item you get to cross it out! Use a big red marker and real paper and a pen. It is one way to stay sane.

As for the bed - if you put it on a major charge card - call them - you may get lucky and be able to obtain some help. Work your way up the corporate ladder.

Choose your battles - and try the list .
Good Luck to you!