Hi Anna
I have this in a different way. My MIL is quite elderly and housebound and so spends a lot of time worrying about me and my (adult) stepchildren (her grandchildren). While I am encouraging them to take some risks and live their lives she's cautioning them not to. I think she'd be happy if they never had relationships and lived with her or at least rang every day.
I recognise though that she is missing her son terribly and never expected to outlive him so I try and be gentle with her (while living my life and being a bit careful about what I tell her about me and the children).
Don't forget, she's hurting too and looking at things from her generation's perspective about ways people should look and act.
All the best, I know well how hard it can be!
Sandy

I go through the same thing just with my inlaws in general... but I try not to let it bother me, my opinion is to just ignore it... that's what I do.

When my mother used to say that, I'd say, I'm going out, can I get you anything. Of course she'd give me a list. Ah I miss that woman though she had her many faults.

Anna . . . it sounds like your "culture and MIL's generation" plays a role in her comment to you about dressing nicely. My response and kudos to you . . . "at least you are dressing and taking care of your appearance". There's a saying "dress up to feel up", comes to mind.

My issue is quite the opposite. I have a wonderful closet full of nice clothes, instead I prefer to wear my p.j.s (sometimes all day), or my rattiest comfortable jeans and a t-shirt/sweatshirt. Unless I have an absolute must occasion to dress, I simply don't bother. And we won't even address my absence of daily showers, hair, make-up, etc. I don't have the energy or fortitude to make it happen. :(

Try not to read too much into MIL's comment. Own yourself and your decisions. Do whatever makes you feel good about self and gets you through the day!

Warm hug and thoughtful blessings coming your way. xo, Dayna

P.S. Are you sure she was trying to infer that you were "seeing someone"? . . . or do you think perhaps culturally speaking she is expounding upon her expectation of proper dress for a "widow"? Something to ponder . . .

I would think you would be happy to have someone so caring. Not everyone has people like that. Look to the good in this situation.
Hugs,

Maybe she is afraid of you moving on and feels she will lose you too.

Mannie123, my MIL has certainly expressed that fear to me several times, especially when my stepchildren are being difficult. :)