14 months for me, just joined. my heart is with you pal, i know how today feels...

Thanks Pete,,,mine is coming up in two months and like you I look at it as hitting the year of all the first. I am almost thru with all the first now and looking back I can't believed I survived it, but I did. I got a bit stronger and allow myself my down times when it comes.Ride on.

Bless you, Pete.

Hey Pete...I'm not at a year yet (June 12), and I don't know if you can relate to this, but tears still come for me, sometimes when I have one of those bittersweet memories, hear a certain song, see a woman with the same kind of hair, something like that...all the time, right out of nowhere. But sometimes it'll come when it should not. Good example; Saturday afternoon Feb-13, my daughter in Oklahoma (I'm in Ohio) started an email and texting account for her 9-year-old daughter, my "Beautiful Sunshine Angel", just because she wanted to get online with grandpa. She got hold of that and went to town! Musta sent me over two dozen pictures and videos, and I can't count how many texts and emails. I'm kinda glad I was in the house by myself, because after about 1-1/2 hours, I was so happy that I thought, "Man, if Marylou was here for this she'd be having a blast". Then I looked at her picture on the desk next to the computer, smelled her perfume, just a whif, and felt a slight tingle on top of my head...alnost like the lightest kiss...and I realized "she
IS here", and that's when the tears came, and I just couldn't make them stop. My theory is getting to be that in the throes of grief, we certainly know the tears of pain...but how good are we at knowing the difference between that, and the tears of joy when we are being visited? I think that one takes time; it must just be part of the journey. Ride safe, my brother, and many more visits to you.

Pete, I understand how you feel. A year already and you made it. We all have our battle scars for sure. But we must remember the wonderful love we had even though it wasn't nearly long enough. Hugs and Love, Michele

You have reached a big milestone in the grief journey. I lost my husband several yrs. ago, and remember the terrible raw pain of that first year. I re-lived the last mo. of his life in my mind - he was battling leukemia. After that 1st yr. anniversary passed I gradually began to feel better. Everything wasn't totally wonderful, but the pain was a little less and I could face Sunday afternoons w/o wanting to crawl in a hole. We all have our own experiences and feelings; some say the 2nd yr. has been worse for them. This was not the case for me. I hope that you begin to feel better and find some peace and joy in the "new normal."
Peace - Doye

Hey Pete,
It will be six months this month for me. I have put holidays on hold for this first year. It's just too hard right now trying to get thru all the firsts. I am hopeful for the years left for me and try to live and do the things Lyn would want me to.
Peace, Tim

So true, Pete, so true. Thank you for sharing. Hugs, Tiger

Pete, Im hoping for you that this next year is a time of healing, and being able to create happy memories. That is what I've been purposely trying to do, when I start to get sad and cry, I try to remember him telling me, it'll all be ok, and to not worry so much, and he loves me oodles and gobbs. I am wishing you a bit of hope, and alot of faith in knowing you as well as all of us will be ok. Much love and hugs carla