Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
Today started out bad and has gone downhill ever since. I'm just here to vent. First, I am keeping my 4 yr old grandson for half days. He and his mom didn't show up on time and I panicked thinking something awful had happened. So I drove to their house, worked about finding them in a wreck. They hadn't answered the house or cell phones. They were just late getting up and didn't call me. Didn't say sorry for the inconvenience or anything. Then, when I got home with GS, he screamed at the top of his lungs about what he wanted that I wasn't giving him. He screamed for 30 solid minutes, trying it at different levels and intensities. I totally ignored him and he became hoarse and coughed all morning. He threw his breakfast on the floor. I was a wreck by the time I took him to his mom at about 1:00 PM. Then, an e-mail from one of my pastors overlooking my leadership of a committee that I am chair of and him taking the entire issue upon himself to set up sub-committees and having people report directly to him - make me furious. He also has set up a website that I cannot access and he has kept saying he'll fix it but he hasn't, so I finally had it and e-mailed him with my resignation. Then I ate lunch, started getting nauseous and am sick at my stomach and want to curl into a ball and tell everyone to leave me alone. What I really want is to have Joe to listen to me, put his arms around me, let me lay my head on his shoulder, lie down and relax on the bed together and him soothe my feelings. I have 4 walls and no Joe. This is no news to all of you who are in the SAME boat. I feel so abandoned and overlooked and ignored except what I can DO for people. I'm having a pity party today. Sorry, but thanks for listening, and I can use all the hugs you guys can muster! Thanks for putting up with this crabby widow today!
Even if people are well meaning, when we are taken out of the loop, so to speak, in an area where we have been active, we decipher it as being dismissedand rightfully so. Whether or not that is true is not as important as the way it came across to our bruised and damaged hearts. It sounds as though the word "consideration" was forgotten in an attempt to carry on as normal. His lack of following through at correcting the problem with the Web sites is yet another hurt.
I sure wouldn't worry about the pity party. We all are entitled to those every now and then, and on some occasions in uninterrupted order. I don't know if you feel the freedom to make an appointment with your pastor to allow you to explain just how hurtful his actions were to you at this time. Even though circumstances may not change, you will have the opportunity to be heard. He, as the pastor of a church, would benefit from your input.
I'm so sorry that your day has been really crummy. It sounds as though a "come to Jesus" meeting with your daughter may also be in order, but then I'm not sure what type of relationship you presently share with her. If it would damage a pleasant future with her, it may be better left unsaid. Maybe if she altered having you and another person watch your grandchild, she would begin to understand the courtesies that should be shown to those who help in her time of need with her child.
Blessings to you as you sort through the hurt. I hope you find a clear and helpful resolution. Take care of yourself and be watchful of your own needs. TJ
Sending you BIG HUGS and Love, Martha
i understand those feelings of just wanting the confort of the person who was our rock.
i hope you have a better day,you deserve it.
angel hugs
And I UNDERSTAND completely what you are feeling!!!! ENOUGH!!!
Have all the pity parties you want to!! You deserve it!
Vent away!!! I hear it does a body GOOD!!! ;-)
hopes for much better days!! MANY HUGS!! Diane
Sure hope tomorrow is better. I had 2 lousey days too. Spent both of them crying. Tonight is better. Be kind to yourself. Sharon