Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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On That Day

shewearsblack17
shewearsblack17

Well, my youngest son and his fiance have decided to move their wedding date up to December 13.  This just happens to be the day I became a widow.  So she tells me that it was her parents' wedding anniversary, and she wants to "honor" them.  Her mom died in a house fire about six years ago.  I guess I can't insist that they change the date on my account because they probably wouldn't anyway.  My LH was my son's stepdad, so his being gone means zero to him.  He didn't like him.  I can't afford to go to the wedding anyway; I was just there visiting in August, and they were not very accomodating.  Because of that, I am on a strict budget now, trying to make ends meet.  No, I won't be there.  Besides, they already have two kids.  I'm glad they are making it official, but they have already put the cart before the horse.

shewearsblack17
shewearsblack17
Where is Ann Landers when you need her LOL?
babochka
babochka
My niece got married recently, on the day my husband died (a year previously). I felt like I'd rather be at the wedding on that sad day but elas! The wedding was in Russia and I could not afford to travel there.
Life is full of the meaningful dates; but those dates are not important for all.
Migs
Migs
Thank you for the post Shewearsblack17 .. I really laughed at 'where is Ann Lander's when you need her ? ' LOL

Now as for the date she would like to honor her Parents Wedding Anniversary,
It's a very sensitive subject for both of you. And because it is her "Mother" whom won't be at the wedding, and it is her way of honoring her Mother's memory, It might be a time that you will be able to open a door to let Love and butterflies in to help her with her Loss this very special day.
It will not lessen your Loss it will help you feel your
Love one around you supporting both of you on this Blessed day.

I cannot imagine my daughter not having me there for her Wedding Day, So I hope for all of you that you make this Day as Special as you can to honor all the memories of your Loved ones.
Hugs Migs
shewearsblack17
shewearsblack17
It doesn't make sense for me to travel 2500 miles for them to have a "quick, simple" wedding, especially since they are already living as man and wife. I don't have the funds, and already there won't be any Christmas. When I was there before, I basically sat in a cheap motel for over a week (5 days without a rental car), and they went on about their lives as usual. They did not even offer me any meals other than one time out to eat. I spent almost 2 grand on my recent visit, They were originally planning to get married in April 2020. I wish them well, I love them, but it is what it is. If they want to pay for my trip, I'll go.
SPK
SPK
I, too, lost my husband . Two years ago. and in August I had to go to my nephew’s wedding on that day. I know they didn’t do it to hurt me and I assume it was a venue availability issue. I went to the wedding and tried to put on a good face. When we got to the dancing after dinner, I elected not to because it felt wrong dancing on the anniversary of his death. Of course. My sister (mother of the groom) was quite annoyed with me.