A very enlightening and eye opening topic. Thanks for posting it.

I don't give too much thought to growing old. Since losing my husband at 62, my nephew at 37 and my sister-in-law at 59 within months of each other, whose to say I will even see the "Golden Years"? Instead, I try to remain grounded and focus on what I can do today. Sometimes it becomes overwhelming because I worry about being able to make my bills on a single income, and if I can continue to enjoy the solitude that I currently do now.

A customer told me a good saying that goes "If you pray, don't worry, and if you are going to worry, don't pray." It about sums everything up. God has often put women of young and old age in my life to show me that there is a content life to be had if I choose to remain unattached throughout my lifetime. I have a super handyman to do the chores that I cannot because of the strength or smarts needed to accomplish them. And I have my family that has my back in the event I become ill or require surgery.

I'm continuing to learn to live with the heartache of losing my husband, but know I am very proud to continue to remain his wife until I pass also.

When I start feeling sorry for myself about getting older, I think of my mother. She will be 84 in September. My dad passed in 2003, she is a dynamo. She works out EVERY day, walks up and down the 7 flights of stairs in her condo, or goes to Curves. She does all her own everything, shopping, cleaning, drives to her appointments. She even takes the EL (Chicago transit)downtown to one of her doctors, or with friends to shop or go to lunch. She flies out to my sister's in San Jose or her sister in Vegas. Two years ago when she was sick with pneumonia, she called herself a cab at 3 in the morning and went to the ER because she did not want to wake anyone up! She has sjogren's syndrome, psoriatic arthritis in her spine and neck, psoriasis and gerd. She also made up her mind a long time ago that until she is crawling she is not caving in. I hope I have her grit.

Kathleen,

I admire your attitude of gratefulness for what you have the ability to do rather than what you have had to surrender. I think we survivors become creativei.e., as you mentioned, switching from a push mower to a riding mowerin how we approach responsibilities and work. We find ourselves in many predicaments that in our past life would not have been ours to resolve. My phrase for your ingenuity is called "working smart." If Plan A cannot be performed due to physical restrictions, Plan B is the next stop.

As we age, our independence is threatened on almost every level. Your approach is excellent and one that we all (because we all will age if we remain on this earth) should integrate into our new reality. Blessings to you. TJ

Yes, today IS a gift...I think we all need to take a lesson from that...since none of us are promised tomorrow...and we saw that quite literally when our loves died...
thanks for reminding us all of what it means to be thankful and grateful for what we DO have. I have always told my students in school and Sunday school "there is always someone worse off than you"....thank God for the gifts He has given and pray for the strength to push on through each new day. Blessings, Jill

I use to never think about getting old until my husband died. Now I think about it a lot. I guess we get scared because we know that one person we could lean on is no longer there. I use to exercise when my husband was alive but now I have no motivation. It's been three years and I need to get active again so I can feel half way decent in my old age. My Dad is 83 and very active. I hope I have his stamina if I live that long.

I am 61 yrs young, I still climb on my horse, ride all day long, dig ditches clear, but I do have some aches and pains but handling them decent.

My Mom 84 after having a mild heart attack, stents, and pace maker is finally showing down hill decline. Before that she was pulling hay bales to her horses. I hope I am still agile also but if not I do not want to be 84 -

BUT thinking of this age and living til 84 I just think how lonely its going to be - all alone...sigh

Don't accept physical decline as part of aging. It is not. In nursing school I learned this. Most of what we consider signs of aging are actually signs of not taking care of our bodies. In other words, lack of exercise and poor nutrition. But take a look at sucessful aging. Think Jack Lalane. He was in great shape til the year he passed. And we can be the same way, but it requires work. I've seen people in their forties tell me that they can't get up from a sofa because it's too low. They haven't exercise since highschool and the muscles of their legs have suffered because of it. I was in that category too. Then I started exercising and built my muscle mass up. Now I can get up from my very low sofa like a 20 year old and I'm 54. And so can my father at the age of 83.

So, you wonder what ages us: Think fast food, lack of exercise, and sun exposure. Cut those out. It doesn't mean that you'll never get sick. Even the young get sick. But it does mean that you will age better and live longer in a healthy body. Think of the men in the bible who aged and did not have life altering illness. God did not mean for our last years to mean hospitals and suffering. He meant for us to live and then not live--to simply cease living without years of suffering.

So,Newroads, at 65, the doctors categorize you as the young old. Thats for people 65-75. There are now three stages to old age, with old and the oldest, old(over 85). At your young age, you can reverse or stop some of the so-called aging process. Watch your diet(white products are said to cause physical problems) and exercise(weight bearing and yoga for balance).

My father is 83. Before his foot surgery last year for bunions, he could still lift weights, do 50 pushups, mow his lawn and walk 5 miles or more a day in his job with the postal service. He shows no physical decline in his muscle mass and weighs the appropriate weight for his height. He has no aches and pains other than for the foot surgery and the arm surgery he had to correct his rotator cuff he injured years ago in a fall.

I'm 54. I don't eat well but I try. I exercise and have no aches and pains. If I do, I look for the source and not my age. Example, I started having hip pain when I turned 45. I was limping and in a lot of pain. My friends told me it was "old age" and to just accept it and adjust. But I didn't I never excepted "old arthur" as they called it. Instead, I looked for another possibility and I found it. I purchased a new mattress and started strectching in the morning. Within a month I had no pain in my hip. So you see, it was "old mattress", not "old age" that caused my problem.

I also had a pain in my arm. That was fixed by emptying my purse. So, what if I hadn't looked beyond my age? Well, I would still be limping and my arm would still be hurting, and I would tell everyone how much I hate getting old.

A famous baseball player named Satchel Page once said, " If you didn't know how old you was, how old would you be?"

I always remember that quote because it tells us not to live by the number, but by how we feel. And there's a lot we can do about how we feel.

What an eye opening topic. I thank you for sharing your thoughts here.

Yes, it is important to have a sense of perspective, as you have pointed out. Like yourself, sometimes I feel sorry for myself, and begin to look at the losses instead of what I have to be grateful for in life, and when I make a gratitude list, there is really quite a bit on it. We all age, and for me, at least, our son noticed the decline in my health since I have lost my husband. Not sure if it is life in session, just getting on, or if perhaps my state of mind while grieving, has made the body more fragile now. I go to the gym every morning at 5:00am, and now, it is a habit that is very much appreciated. Although my legs hurt, I still work in my husband's garden, to keep his memory alive, and also, because it makes me feel like I am doing something for me. And the best benefit, an unanticipated one is that I really enjoy gardening today.

I like your positive post. Thank you. It is good to look at the blessings we still have.

yes, these aches and pains are truly a pain...yuk, yuk... After 50, I noticed a marked change in the situation. I just have to watch what I'm doing more closely.