Yes my friend and it all seems for nothing. I have been back to work Monday and tuesday, 2 weeks in a row and took the rest off as I feel lost and can't concentrate. We just have to keep stepping forward and the tears will keep coming but as the days go by maybe not as much. I still cry some everyday for Stevan but I know it is because I miss him so but it has not been as bad the last couple weeks. Please be patient and let your feelings out in time we will all make it through this journey and survive.
Peace and Love to you my friend
Laurie

You still have to live through your grief, but I do know that work is a great help, especially if it is work you know well. I get that it feels terrible to come back home and find yourself alone. I am so sorry. I feel for you. Can you like a hobby enough to have something to look forward to doing in your "ME" time. If you do not - go out and learn one that will keep you absorbed. I made a zillion cards for any occasion, simply to fill the void with creativity.

The pain is still so raw it is normal. Since I only work part-time but work with small children I knew in my heart that I would not be able to do my job well. The school understood and I was able to take the time off until I returned in September. I realize that others don`t get to tale extra time off and must return sooner and while work may be a distraction , emotionally it is extremely hard . I hope things gets easier for you and that you once again can find joy in a job you enjoy.

For me work does serve as a distraction but also a added stressor as I work through the grief. Work is where I met my wife and we were both employed there for years. I plan to leave in 14-15 months(retire). To me it represents part of my past not part of my future. Even my wife suggested to me to leave as soon as I could. Taking a new road will be part of the redefining myself we have to go through. It may feel you have gone in a full circle. I bleive we move forward in this grief process everyday but often it is not even noticeable. I am truly sorry for your ongoing pain. God bless. Gerald

I am so early in the process at 12 weeks that I don't know what I should be feeling. Some days I feel like I am making progress but then I am back at square one with the same prayers, thoughts, actions. I feel empty in the morning and empty when I go home. I have read and been told that we have to push through the process and not around it. I am surely pushing through. I guess patience is the key while trying to find little things that make us happy along the way.

God Bless

Robbie

I was in a big rush about going back to work. My doctor told me that I needed to take about 6 weeks off. In the end I think I took about 8 weeks. I am glad that I listened to the doctor. I needed that time to get started with paper work and just relax or do what I needed. This was the time that I started to do meditation walks. Those walks helped me. I also started to see a counselor during that time.
I worked at a mental Heath Agency. Everyone there has been supportive. I love my job and do not want to leave it yet. It helps me get through the day. I do get anxious some days but if and when I need a day off or break during the day I can usually arrange.
My job gives me something to look forward to. I enjoy helping families. There are some days at work something will happen and I want to talk about it with my husband. That is what makes my sad.

It is nearing a year for me. Last night I got so sad and depressed. I have been sick, and no one has even checked to see if I was alive. I took some Benadryl went to bed. In 1 hour I was waken up. by the tv changing channels . I woke up, sit up, and took the remote, as I was trying to get the channel back to where it was, My mattress shifted. like there was someone sitting there ,and got up... I have felt like someone has sit on it before, while I am sleeping. Decided it was just me thinking it. Last night I saw it too. I have a Serta Perfect Sleeper, pillow top mattress. there shouldn't be movement on that. ended up getting 3 hours sleep, all night.

I feel like I am going backwards. After almost a year.....

The year mark imposing on the brain...you think you should be better...but your heart rules and still bleeds.


Sandee tell hubs while he is up to make you some tea.

Yes, I know many times after feeling maybe I am doing better I'm hit again with the loss. Reminders are all around us and the emotions rise. Coming home was always a hard time for me. I think I "forgot" and expected to have him here until the empty house hit me.
Its been over 6 years now and their are still reminders, but I can handle them because I have him in my heart. It comes with time and tears and work. Sharon

Squeege, every day I feel like I'm in the Groundhog Day movie. I wake up and have to tell myself that my husband is dead and he won't be here anymore. I get ready, go to work, carry my phone and check it regularly and he doesn't call or text...then I come home, see his car in the driveway and get a little excited only to tell myself again that he's not here anymore. I enter an empty house, sit at my computer, get ready for the next day and tell myself that I am sleeping alone....only to wake up and do it all over again. Everyone on here says it gets better, people who see me regularly say I am better now than I was before but I don't see it or feel it. I'm at 15 weeks... I hope things get easier for you. Everyone says baby steps....

once again, wise words and honesty from people who know.

Thinking of you Sandee xx
I know he's with you, feel it in my bones