I am so very sorry that you lost your love. The enormous heartbreak feels overwhelming at times. It seems as if the cycle of emotions are necessary process this loss. Feeling as you do right now is something I can identify with. I felt like I should have been the one to go. I found that I could only take one day at a time and sometimes one hour or moment. The pain was excruciating and I felt so alone. This site will help. Come here and read posts so you can see others have survived this. Be sure to take care of yourself, drink a lot of water and try to eat and rest. You may want to find a grief or bereavement group, it's helpful to be with others who understand. I wish you peace and strength. Marybeth

Oh genette. I so get how you feel. So sorry for your tremendous loss. I am not yet at 3 months. Wish I had found this site sooner.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Keep visiting here. You will find friendship and support. Be patient. Try to take the best care of yourself that you can. Grief takes time. Though it doesn't seem so now. Eventually it will get better. It's been a long time for me but I remember well what it was like and I feel for you. Love and Hugs, Dolores

You are something. You were the love of his life. I so feel your pain. Wish I could hug you. It’s a pain you can’t explain.

hi, genette,
It does get easier, but it takes time and I am handling it well, but after watching my wife slowly die from cancer, you slowly die with them. I can't think would state I am if she was taken suddenly. Do seek help if you are struggling. A good support network helps.

anytime you need a hug there are plenty of people here to give you a hug

9 days is so hard! I know how you feel - like you could just physically die and your heart might stop beating at any moment. I am at 9 weeks and now I realize that my heart will keep beating for awhile, which still makes me sad. I also think it should have been me and not him. He would be coping so much better than I am and yes, could offer the world much more. I am just taking up space and oxygen and hating my life every day.

We live in an RV we spent the last four years traveling around together every day we build we live in an RV we spent the last four years traveling around together every day we build dollhouses to date 81 of them donated to centers that work with children it was our mission. I am in a wheelchair most of the time without him everything is over. We don't have a home ours is on wheels it was good enough for us we were just happy being together. We don't have a home ours is on wheels it was good enough for us we were just happy being together. Our parents and siblings are all gone and our grown children have all offered me a Home but it's not what I want. He was only 64 i say only because I thought he'd be around at least into his 70s. He was never sick I was outside he drove by he waved to me the Van didn't stop it ran into the neighborS steps. That's what stopped. In seconds just seconds he was gone. I couldn't save him. So many 1st responders tried. We didn't get to say goodbye or I love you.

That's how I felt too. It is so hard to process his absence. It just doesn't seem real and then it seems like a terrible mistake. I will be praying for you during these difficult first days and throughout this hard journey. God bless you.

I have these same thoughts. My husband died from a motorcycle accident last month. Just on our way to church and I watched as a car turned right in front of him and watched him take his last breath. I constantly replay it and think was there something I could have done differently to save him? He was only 26. While the ages are different the hurt is the same. I wish i had known that morning was going to be my last with him. We have a 4 year old son and I often feel that I wish it was me and not him. He was our son’s favorite person and I feel that our Son would have been better off if he was left with only him instead of only me and I feel like he was such an amazing person that the world is now going to miss out on. I completely understand your feeling.

I am so very sorry. But am so grateful for you that you have your son. 4 years old he needs you so much. He will hopefully help keep you busy. And for you to have seen it happen also. It makes it even harder. I keep telling myself God wanted him more but I'm not believing the words. He was with me 27 years I should be thankful for that but want more. Do people keep telling you it will get better? They tell me and it's not true. I'm in a wheelchair and alone now at 61. Guess it'll be a Sr home for me. Live your life while you can hug your little one and if you need to scream do it. That's what I'm doing. Hugs.

Sweetie, you are in the roughest part of your grieving right now. I want you to remember one thing, you have worth and you are valuable. We can never choose who goes first, that is entirely up to God. My husband has been gone 10 weeks tomorrow and it is still so difficult because I miss him so much. But the memories of his actual passing are fading and the beautiful memories are starting to flood my mind and heart. Every day is a new day and a chance to recover. I will keep you in my prayers and I am here if you want to chat. Paula