As you said, cherish every moment that you have with him!! It's going to be rough for the next months, or year ~ whatever time you have left. Remember, the doctors are going by what they know usually happens. God is still in control, so he will not go until God says his time is up. We never know what day that will be.

Sorry that you received this type of news! Of course, you are terrified!! I'm sure all the ones on here who received that type of news for their spouse can tell you that they felt the same. I don't know how that would be ~~ my husband died suddenly of cardiac arrest. There are times I wish I'd had a heads up so that we could have really had some heart to heart talks. That didn't happen though.

Either way ~~ losing your loved one is HARD!!! None of us wanted to be on a board like this. Life is what it is.

God Bless you.
Joely

My first husband died 4 years ago from a brain tumor. We knew he was terminal from the moment he was diagnosed..... he lived 10 months.

It's so hard to get up and go about the "normal" activities of a day knowing what's to come. I can remember thinking, "How can everybody just go about their business? Don't they know what's happening?" I was so angry sometimes!

Best advise I can give:

1. Live every moment to the fullest...... if you can afford to, travel a little and make some memories. Memories will sustain you through some trying times.

2. Embrace the simple pleasures of being together. Savor every moment.....even those just spent watching TV or doing a house hold chore.

3. Talk, talk, talk. Be as open and honest with each other as you can. Don't miss an opportunity to say I love you.

4. Take care of yourself! You will need all of your physical and emotional energy to face the days ahead. So be selfish and do whatever is necessary to take care of yourself.

I know it's impossible to believe this right now, but you will get through this! Please stay in touch..... God speed.

I am so very sorry for the news you have received. Joely is right...God is still in control and only He knows the timing for your husband.

I did not have any warning with my husband...but I had 77 days with my dad. I have a message from my dad on a key chain that I can play to hear my daddy's voice. I have my husband singing to me on our wedding video and some of his last voice mail message to me that I can listen to. I was actually able to email the voice mail messages to my email so that I wouldn't lose them. Being able to hear their voices is a wonderful thing.

Beyond that the advice given below is spot on. I would suggest talking about the hard things too. What he wants for his funeral/burial, etc. Talk about the possibility of you sharing your life with someone else sometime down the road. Please forgive me if saying these things seems insensitive. I do NOT mean to at all...I have just seen people post that they wish they had discussed things like this with their spouse before they passed. Also, if there is anything you want to apologize for (and I am not saying there is)...do it now. You have an opportunity to resolve any open issues (if any exist) and say all the I Love Yous that you can. I hope I haven't upset you. Please know that is not my intent. I just know what I have and others have gone through after a loss and you have time to do things now.

I will be praying for your husband and for you. God still performs miracles so until He decides do not give up on your hubby.

We are here for you! God bless.

Theresa

I am so sorry to hear your news. My husband died 17 months ago from colon cancer, 19 months after he was diagnosed.

You have received very good advice here. I, too, will encourage you to talk as much as your husband is willing. I tried but my husband was not open to discussing the possibility of his death until it was too late so we had many things left unresolved in our 39 years of marriage.

If you ever want to discuss something specific about colon cancer, please feel free to contact me. I did learn a bit while my husband was undergoing treatment if you think it might be helpful.

((HUGS)) I am so very sorry for both of you. Of course you are terrified, and angry. Life just is not fair! I lost my hubby after a long lingering illness (pancreatitis.) One thing you should do is talk about your finances and how you are going to live after he is gone. Hard yes but very important. Make sure everything is also in in your name-house cars whatever. Will make it much easier for you later. Make sure you get passwords to stuff on the computer-I forgot one and it was miserable trying to get stocks transfered into my name. The most important thing like others have said is to just be together enjoy Him.

I am so sorry that you and your family are going thru this. My husband died of AML.....from the first day we were told until 12/24/2012 until the day he died 10/14/2013....I was terrified everyday.....just kept clinging to hope and praying. He was such a wonderful, loving person I couldn't understand why this was happening. Just spend every moment you can with him. My husband and I took mini trips, 2-3 days to different places. I know its hard but get all the legal stuff done that you can...will, etc. Talk to each other about everything......my prayers are with you...Colleen

Right now I wish that I could just reach and hug you and let you scream, vent, cry while I held you up.. In January 2013 , my husband was sick and no one knew what was wrong, on January 15th we found out that he had terminal Cancer and that only quality of life could be given. We lost him on January 23rd. I cannot convey enough to you what a precious gift knowing that w were on borrowed times was. In reality we only 3 days to talk before he was too tired and weak to talk but he did get to tell me important things that have carried me through my grieve. We did get to say Goodbye and he knew how loved he was. Cherish the time, make memories. On another note, a few months before my husband had unexplained Heart Failure in October 2012, my cousin had been given the news of being terminal and only having a short time. He went and did his own funeral arrangement and let it be known that he wanted a party not a funeral. A few months latter during a check up, the DR were baffled to see that the tumour had shrunk. God is in charge and I pray that this will be one of those times when he decides that one of his child his needed on Earth longer...

Hi Merri, I am sorry you have received such devastating news. I understand what you are feeling, despite my husband's death having been sudden and unexpected. We buried 3 of our 4 parents to cancer, and the journeys were hard each time.

I am glad to see that you have reached out on the Colon Cancer Group here. You may also wish to consider these groups for support as well:

Family & Friends of Cancer Patients -
http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Family-and-Friends-of-Cancer-Patients/forum

Caregivers Support Group -
http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Caregivers/support-group

I know you are trying to find the best place to help you get through this nightmare, and I know you are trying not to be insensitive - you are hurting and confused. However, with that being said, the purpose of this group is:

"This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss."

You are in the "before" side; we are all unfortunately in the "after" part of the journey. Many of the members here are bereaved due to cancer and are struggling to get past the memories and pain of that "before" side. Those are the ones that have given you precious advice from their broken hearts.

My advice to you is to pay heed to what has been said here and to also line up whatever counseling/therapy you can for yourself. You will likely need more than DS to help you through this. Even those of us who are in the "after" phase of it need professional help to deal with the loss of our spouses.

The advice you have received about legal and financial issues is also true and on point. No one ever wants to deal with that. But it doesn't make it any less important to how you will survive after he passes.

I hope you are getting second opinions on the diagnoses. I am not an oncologist, but I have heard a lot of stories over the years that make me know they aren't always right in their diagnoses or their time estimates. In fact, they are frequently wrong - both ways.

I have been on the "after" side for 6.5 years. The night before my husband died in my arms we had been talking about all of our future plans. They all died with him. But I never gave up, and I have rebuilt my life. You will, too, and when you are at the "after" side of things, we will be here to help you do that.

I am sorry that there is a loss in your future, and I wish you strength and courage through it.

Love and Hugs,
Martha, co-Community Leader

Merri . . .
There's not much that I can add to the sound advice you've already been given here, but I want to ease your mind about one crucial thing. You mentioned that you're terrified that you will start to forget your husband. I worried about that too; however, after talking with others who have been here much longer than I have, I've come to realize that does not happen.
Wishing you peace . . .

Merri, I am deeply sorry for what you and your husband are going through. I an also sad that you have no children to bring you joy through the sorrow. That has to be the hardest part; not having a piece of him to hold on to.

prayers to you.

Maggie

I sent you a message merri.
Its good you are preparing now. I stayed in a fog for quite a while and didn't believe what was happening. Just be there and cherish every moment you have. Write everything down!!! You will forget if you don't.
Hugs,
JoAnn

I am so very sorry for what you are going through. It's terrifying every day, I know.
I think that Parmela said it best, look at those 4 things and hang on to that... That's the best you can do and take lots and lots of pictures together, hugging, kissing and laughing.. You will need those..

God Bless and I hope the best for you both..