I kinda had the same issue, I was just honest with them and they were agreeable. I'm still in the ppl do whatever I want phase though

Rude...yes....your friend is rude, not you! You may just have to be brutally honest with some of them and just say that you "really need to leave now", or "need to have some alone time now", etc. I had to do that with one of my neighbors and she later confessed to me that she felt "obligated" to check in with me even if she really didn't feel like it at times, because she had promised my husband that she would not let me be lonely. She was actually relieved. Maybe some of your friends are like that too. Or, they just want a free ride somewhere! Hugs, Darlene

I have tried to tell them that I need time alone and on the days they insist on being with me, if I have things I need to do, I politely remind them that most of the "chores" around here take me about ten times longer than they did Shane. So I cannot waste the entire morning waiting for people just so I can run for diesel or other supplies. I do appreciate the people who care... but sometimes I just feel like running away and not telling a single person where I am going!

That might be it shaneslove. Just go someplace without telling anybody. Will give you a sense of freedom. Besides we really DON'T have to be accountable to somebody ALL the time now that we are adults, do we?

Amy, I don't blame you for thinking people are rude. We have to get things done at our pace. And waiting three hours is rediculous! Sometimes we need alone time. I love having caller id and voicemail. If I'm not up to something, they can text or leave a message and I'll get back to them when I can, or when I feel like it. Keep venting, so many people just don't get it. Hugs to you kiddo, Michele

How funny I read this. My friend this morning (who lost her husband 7 months after I did) was just saying the same thing. She was waiting yesterday for a gal who said she would be over in ~20 minutes. but never even showed or called. Luckily she was just doing things around her farm.
I also have had people say they will be up, luckily I am usually doing something around my place. Once a friend was upset I did not answer my phone after 3 hrs. later called to say her sis showed up so she was late. Her excuse I would not be doing anything anyway and being alone need her so I should wait for her.
I got rid of her - was chronic that way, told white lies I am just headed out door sorry can not wait. Actually was one morning and used it ever since.

Nicker07, sometimes I wonder if that is what people think... that since I usually just stay at home, they can flip flop and make me wait for them... like I have nothing going on. The few people who have stuck around... despite my weepiness and moodiness are a true blessing, so I hate that I feel angry about this, but sometimes I just want to scream at them.
I try to keep in mind that I am probably "over sensitive" about things that I would not have fretted about before losing Shane, but sometimes it just seems pretty crappy that they would do this.

I've been beating myself up over the same thing. I can only take people in short doses now and really like being alone, a lot. I also am irritated by the idiosyncrasies of some, where I used to just ignore it and accept them as they are. Now they get under my skin. They can't help the way they are, so I keep my distance. I don't want to hurt them just because I am irritable. Hope this isn't me forever.

I think, aside from the practical time management issues, a huge reason these things are so difficult on us is because everything has been taken out of our control. Even those who care deeply about us don't realize how that constantly drains us. I am trying to manage emotions, and even that is impossible. so if somebody "helpful" causes my whole day to be more unpredictable, that is a great big huge deal now.
can I get an "Amen"?
:-I

I understand, I tend to do things when the feeling hits me and I need to take advantage of that moment asap or its gone and Im back to the sadness. If you have talked to them then the next step I would take would be to keep your errand list to yourself. Don't let them know your plans for a certain day and see if that helps. Hugs
Lisa

I can so relate to your words. When my husband died and I was alone I felt lost and forgotten by our friends. When someone came to see me all I wanted was to be alone. A quandary for sure. I understand. Sharon