Hi BklynO,

Yes, it is awkward coming in at first. It is also not very easy to say welcome to the group. Though I hope this support group is fitting for you. I noticed in your profile that you've also joined a single parent group onsite here. I think that you will find inspiration there as well as in this group.

You mention that you have a son in college and a daughter experiencing complicated grief. Do you feel that the stress surrounding their needs is a part of your idea to seek therapy? I ask because you tell us that your work is keeping you sane so far. And is feeling bad for your daughter overwhelming your thoughts to the point of distraction while not busy at work?

I offer you a warm hug of condolence today. Please feel that you are among friends here.

Bklyn,

Welcome to the site...Sorry to meet you here....it means you are experiencing a terrible loss and horrible pain.

You have found a good place with kind people who will listen and try to help and support.

We are in various stages but provide perspective and usually hope even in the face of the daunting journey we are on.

I got professional help to get me through the worst, but the local widowed group and this site have been the light for me on many a dark night that seemed to never end.

Best wishes,
Joe

Sorry, I meant a daughter only. She is my miracle baby it took us 20 years just to have one child now turning 18 and a new voter!

ahh, BklynO, a miracle baby is so sweet! Spooky but I saw son somewhere in your post, lol! And you know what, it could be that your daughter will meet a very interesting young man while she is attending college. And this will be the one to take her mind away from the pain of missing her dad so much. Now, what's up with your thoughts of seeking therapy? Are you taking on more stress with worrying about her?

Oh yeah, push to the polls if you have to. Vote folks!! :-)

Dear BklynO219,
I know it is hard to be strong for your kid...I have felt selfish in wanting to curl up and just cry my eyes out and found all 3 of my daughters would all cry and then pile on top of me in one giant sobbing mess. Made me pull myself together and drag them out of sorrow to better days. It is hard and sometimes I hide and cry on my own.
My eldest is 19 and she has struggled so hard...today she came home having bawled her eyes at uni thinking of her daddy.
I have been to counselling for other things and can honestly say it can be very therapeutic to vent, talk and share with someone different. They make you see by your own admissions as to why you react or feel a certain way. Once you unlock and understand what it is that holds you back, you can then take control and put it behind you.
Wishing you strength for you and your daughter
WR x

Sorry to hear about your man passing. Remain strong and focus on your children to make them better. Pray about it.

Just logged off from my job for now...thank you everyone for the warm welcome to be a part of this group.. I used to make fun of my late hubby when he goes on "sl" short for Second Life. He was a musician and did concerts all over the world. His last event was on that sad day -he was about to go on stage to play when he had the heart attack. Everyone on the venue was waiting for him to play his guitar ..until they heard from one of SLifer what had happen. They are real group musicians from all over the world who did worldwide concert in his memory that year 2019, Also on the first anniversary this year a fund raising benefited my daughter going away gift for college. At least I have that memory of my late hubby's concerts in youtube when I am ready to see and hear him. Not ready to do that yet.

They even a send nice flower arrangement at the viewing and funeral what a wonderful group of people. I only met one of them a local NYorker of the SL group. Anyway so much of that...I just know that he is very proud of our daughter getting in the most competitive performing arts school in NY -

I pray the minute I get up in the morning everyday to make me strong and keep me going forward but .there are times that I look around the house that reminds me of what it used to be. I put away all his 12 to 14 electric/acoustic guitars, electric pianos, gadgets, other music instruments, recording equipment, etc except the piano that remains in the hall. (just imagine little Sam Ash music store) I do not know why I am still keeping all of them in the house but I can not just dispose of them...it is a part of him- it is him in some ways.
Now with COVID have no choice but to stay home to work. That is why I opted on going to work at least twice a week just to get out of the house. My daughter is at the dorm because she does not like this house anymore with the bad memory of walking in the house that day and found him already dead. Have to run home from work and called my neighbor to be with her until I get home. My last text conversation with him still in my phone that morning.
Sorry for this very long message...

Embark on this journey its OK to have long messages analytical thoughts that you wonder why.
Your wrote but hit send anyway young people trying to navigate this life will require guidance Stronger than MTV or reality TV..funny how in craving out their lives they converted your nuance into an version of another you. I read your post and I can feel him coming into door after a gig and seeing a household of hope life and joy plus guitars. I can help but think did he have a follower that would sit on his knee and try to pluck the strings. I fell in Love with music via a group called the Soulful Strings...
Do you recall the words to a song that went. Music doesn't dissipate but recreate in another time and place The most formidable job on earth Mother and Teacher....please continue to use your keyboard to develop a lesson plan for all of us....Love Power and Self-control to you