I'm so sorry that your having a hard time with the holidays and this whole rotten journey we are on. You do what make you comfortable right now and in the moment. You don't have to do anything that you don't want to do! Your purpose will come to you when you least expect it. Just keep your eyes and your mind open to the possibilities. Please know that my thoughts are with you.
Sending big hugs your way...
Darcie

You aren't the only one. This is my fifth year without Ron and the first time I haven't put up a tree or decorated. I began scaling way back from the very beginning and now it has come to this...and I'm okay with that.

I cope best by trying to see to it that those I am with have a fun time. I leave my heartache outside the door, and quietly pick it up when I leave

so sorry it has been five months for me but I loved the holidays and he always liked watching me decorate so I did the same this year and have grandkids coming and wanted to make it best for them also.
I know everyone has different feelings about holidays I am just trying to make it thru this first and hope next year will be little easier. I know it will never be the same but this is the life we are given at this time and I am trying to deal with it. It doesn't seem fair at all but I trust GOD has a plan for me and my future and will be strong. GOD BLESS YOU. I hope you will be o.k.

No Christmas for me this year either. I am kinda looking forward to being alone. I know there will be alot of tears shed, but cleansing.
Hugs, Sandi

My husband died 11-13-15. We didn't have kids either. Was really dreading Christmas this year. NEVER in my wildest dreams would I ever have thought I'd be saying this, but his death has been put on the back burner. Got a call this Monday that my Mama was in the ER. When I got there the drs said she was in critical condition and they really didn't expect her to make it through the night. She did and has been constantly improving but still has a long road to go. God must think I am a tower of strength to put me through all of this. Don't know how I am coping but I am. My prayers are with you sweetie.

Christmas is just a sad and empty time and I miss what it was.

I don't have the emotional drive either. Too many memories of people I'll never see again. Saturday morning will bring relief.

My husband also passed about 9 months ago, and if not for my son, I wouldn't bother with Christmas, either. I bought a modest tree, and put up a few decorations on it, including a picture of my husband and his brother when they were boys...right at the top, under an ornament that he gave me a couple of years ago instead of a star..I wasn't going to cook a bird, but someone gave us a hamper with a turkey so I'm going to cook it up but not all the trimmings...I really don't have the heart, and my son doesn't really care for it anyway..

am so sorry for what you are going through.

Your observations regarding friends made me smile ruefullyso true. I never thought I would be grateful for my divorce from my first husband but I can honestly say that due to that experience, I was at least prepared for all of our friends to vanish from my life. Amazingly, my childhood chums, most of whom I had not seen in decades, were the ones to step up and make the effort to stay in contact with me. I am still incredulous!

The holidays are tough on all of us--you are not alone. Hugs...

Truthfully in my first year I did not observe Christmas eithier because it just hurt to damn much. I cried on 3 separate occassions as I tried to put up the tree. I did not feel like seeing anyone and ust went through the motions. The second Christmas it was a little better but still a huge emotional struggle with frequent flashbacks to very painful events in the journey when I lost my wife to cancer. Now in my 3rd year the Spirit of Christmas has now returned and with it the joy of spending time with family and friends. I totally understand the pain and loneliness you are going through and just want to send you a big Canadian hug. God bless. Gerry

I haven't been on here in a while, but felt that I needed to check in briefly.

This is a tough one for me and my boys. My husband passed away unexpectedly at the beginning of August. Our nephews moved her a province away from us. They are taking as good care of her as they should. Partly because one chooses not to check in on her and partly because one has to work out of town. I went to visit for 5 days but had to be back for the boys.

Christmas day we would normally go to her place for Christmas. This year is so different. My oldest has decided to spend Christmas
day with his girlfriend's family. That's ok. My youngest and I are going to Calgary to spend time with my husband's neice (she's a few years younger than me and we are close).

I decided a few months ago that if I do things that Joe and I never did before, i'm ok. So, that's what I'm sticking with,

This is the first Christmas that I'm barely observing this year. My house used to be a winter wonderland at Christmas.

Once day it will change again I'm sure. But, not yet.

For your first holiday alone, try and do different this year. Then there's little to no association with bittersweet memories, Just my thought.

Just wanted to say no Christmas for me either. I think I'm having a pitty party , Can't wait till it's over.

Dear MorningGlory, Just a little heartfelt wish for you and you will make it through Christmas. Just pretend it's another day. That's what I'm going to do because I will be alone here in Arizona without my family in California. Wishing you peace and comfort, eat and sleep well and try and find or do something that makes you happy or laugh, even if it's rock n roll music, funny movies, etc., anything to divert your sadness and loneliness away from Christmas, since you will not be with your family. I think to remember your Christmas memories with your husband. Also, it gives me comfort that there are many families in America who are together and happy for the holidays and I am glad they have their happiness together. Take care. Hugs, Nanette

Tim will be gone 8 years next Feb 6th. This is what I've done. The first Christmas I did nothing. Except cry. The next year and for a few Christmases after that I tried to do it all, but it was very draining on me.
Now, I do what I feel up to, and don't push myself. This year I shut down a couple of weeks ago. The people who really care about me understand. This method works out really well for me. Take care.
Dianne