Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
My husband passed away on 9-4-2020, right before his 58th birthday and the Holidays he so loved. It was very unexpected, he was never sick or in the hospital. He passed in his sleep next to me, he had a massive heart attack the morning of the first day of our vacation. We were soooo happy, never argued or fought about anything. He was a good man who always did for others without asking for anything in return. We were so connected, we used to say the same things all the time. We even bought each the same Anniversary card. I was Blessed to have him in my life for almost 6 years. I can't stop crying about him being gone, it doesn't seem real. I'm not sure how this works so I just started texting how I am feeling. I hope this is OK to do. So much more to mention but it would take up much more space than you have. I thank you for listening.
My condolences to you, dear one. I'm glad that you came in to this site to share your heart. I sadly welcome you to this very caring community of support. And I want to share something with you too.
I was just reading this Bible scripture: (Ecclesiastes 7:1-2)
1 A good name is better than precious ointment; and the day of death than the day of one’s birth.
2 ¶ It is better to go to the house of mourning, than to go to the house of feasting: for that is the end of all men; and the living will lay it to his heart.
Your husband was a good man and you describe many of his own good traits. I admire that! And he left you attached to his good name, which is a gift to you from now on.
Sad that he died so early in life, and departed right before his birthday and the holidays. This event is something that will cling to your mind and heart for the rest of your life, and you know it. I know it. My husband has passed on too. Because you loved him so much he will lay in your heart. By this, you will still have joy and a connection. You will still think and say the same things, he will still guide you to anniversary greeting cards (my husband does this, often too), and you are in God's right to claim to your husband an eternal perception of holy marriage. I promise you that marriage is eternal; God's plan is such as the family unit continues and death does not end the ceremony itself; there is much more to come!
It's awful that you have to cry so much; yet crying is not such a bad thing either.
I'm not quite sure what you refer to as "texting"? Could be that you are implying that writing out your story is how to express your feelings and that is correct. And believe this, there are many creative ways at this support site to feature your thoughts. You deserve a fair perspective of what's to become of you now. So lean back and chat, vent, share, or whatever makes you feel at home here.
God bless you today.
I’m so sorry for your loss. You are hurting so give yourself time to grieve. It’s hard to lose someone we love so much. Cry when you need to.
Keep sharing. Feel free to post anytime. It can help you to feel less lonely.
You can also write your emotions in your journal, it’s like talking to a friend.
Praying for you for comfort and peace. God bless.
Please scroll until you get to the title Long winded but a must read, please read this. It is long but I hope this will help a bit. If you ever need to talk please send me a message. Hugs
I don't how hard this is. My mom just lost my dad, I can get over it, he had a nice life, did not have to suffer. But my mom says almost all of the widows have depression which candidly I do not understand.
I can tell you that it will get easier, and I can tell you that you will never forget him. The pain of missing him becomes more bearable over time. There will come a time where you will not feel so lost, and you will be able to smile again. Don't give up.
I had counseling early on, and that helped me. I got it through my work's Employee Assistance Program for free. I had to return to work not long after his death, and it was hard to do that and the counseling helped me cope.
I also read a few books about grieving, and one in particular really helped me, "Seven Choices - Finding Daylight After Loss Shatters Your World" by Elizabeth Harper Neeld. Your local library may have it, and I know Amazon carries it. I also kept a journal, which helped release some of the thoughts and feelings that were overwhelming at times.
I hope you find what helps you personally. Welcome to the group.
Love and Hugs,
Martha, Community Leader