I'm sorry for your loss...I know that lost feeling all too well, and coming home to an empty house is unbearable at times..I lost my husband in March when his liver failed. Today was especially hard, because it would have been his birthday. Again, I'm sorry...

I smile in public, too. People tell me I'm doing so well.
HA! They don't have a clue.

I think that those who have not been thru this can't truly understand what it's like. The awful feeling of being alone and missing them so much. How could they ?. You may look strong to them because you aren't crying constantly or showing you emotions to them, but keeping it inside until you are alone. I have seen some people who just can not even empathize. I lost my husband March 31st and sometimes it is all still so fresh in my mind. Wendimac, I know today must have been rough for you. You both are in my thoughts and as always wishing you the best !

Ruthann

I agree with Ruthann. People do not understand how we feel inside when they have not walked in our shoes. They only see what we show them. Inside our hearts are breaking and we hurt. I am so sorry for your pain. We understand exactly how you feel.

Your pain is understood and we are all here because we are on the same road. We have hands to hold you up when you stumble and ears to hear you cry xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It is hard coming home to any empty house.I feel your pain. I don't even want my nearest and dearest to know how hard i have found this journey. I am not sure they would understand. Patti

You don't "feel " as strong as "they " think you are, but with each passing moment as you cry and mourn your strength will grow. Some days you will rest looking for the alluding peace and other days you will feel your heart has been ripped from your body. Through it all you will grow and find the strength to find yourself in this world. It's a long struggle, but you don't walk alone. We walk with you, together, supporting each other through. Sharon

I can truly relate to everyone.... Sometimes you just go through the motions & inside your heart is aching so much !!!

I surprised myself yesterday. I'd been feeling strong almost to the point of not thinking about him as much. Everyone else was thinking how strong I was, but yesterday (4 months) all I wanted to do was cry and mourn him and miss him...I don't work and my husband was often gone for work, so maybe I have it easier. But I do know the meaning of "a heavy heart" now, that's for sure. We can go through the motions of living and moving forward, but we know how fragile and sad we are inside.
For me it's worse in the mornings. I wake up feeling anxious, like I've been dreaming of him all night, or reliving the nightmare of his passing in my sleep.

"Strength is in numbers" . . quoted way before our time . . and for a good reason. Yes, we are strong . . but ever so strong when we seek out like minded others that help support us. Wishing you much strength on this journey . . we are here with you and for you. Hugs, D

I lost my Husband Joe 4 and 1/2 years ago. I got into a relationship within 9 months to a wonderful man. this journey has Been so Hard people always say gee your doing Great your holding it together. Well I cant anymore I'm sad confused and cant find ME. I miss my "old" life. I have no one but me to blame for not picking myself up and moving on.

Thank you everyone for the comfort of knowing I am not alone in this. We are all coming to grips with a million feelings at once. Maybe if my husband had been sick for a period of time it might be easier. But just out of the blue has got me still in a kind of shock. Today was a good day. We will see about tomorrow.

Yes lost is the right word. being alone in the house or coming home to an empty house is extremely hard. I try to work on projects or hobbies, call friends but there is always this feeling of life is so totally different now.

Rainbow27 I do agree about hobbies and such. I will have to find a new hobby. My husband loved to fish together, that was one of our "things". Our first date was fishing all day long. I love to bake, but don't want to gain 100lbs. Right now I focus on working hard at my job and my children and grandchildren. Love the laughter when they are here to visit. They keep me sane.