Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Death & Dying
/ Widows & Widowers Support Group

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Monick
Monick

Just wanted to say hi and am beginning to research out groups and clubs to feel like I'm not alone in this new found position I'm in.  My husband passed 9/9/19 to what we believe was a heart attack during his daily workout at home.  I was too late in discovering he collapsed; his first attack was 10 years ago and due to where and who he was around, was able to be revived.  We were a month shy of our 19th anniversary and a 10-day vacation in Michigan.  We had a great life and now it is the worst ever.  We're all aware that life goes on, but the joy is gone.  One foot in front of the other and try not to cry on a daily basis is the new normal.  Prayers for all who are in this club not by choice.

dbud428
dbud428
I feel your pain. I lost my wife 9/29/2019, the day after her 65th birthday, due to stroke caused by stage IV breast cancer. Our only child lives 350 miles away and I am now living alone. Very alone. I know what you mean about crying every day. I find that just about anything emotional causes be to near to tears. Happy things, or sad things all cause me to become very emotional. I know it is early in the grief process but I sometimes wonder how much of this sadness and loneliness I can stand.
Monick
Monick
Thank you for sharing. My husband's family is in town but my sister is 2.5 hrs away and my son is 3 states away. I have forced myself to reach out because I hate to be alone. A widow/widower's group meets monthly for dinner and I will be attending my 2nd one soon. We all have the same pain and can totally understand where we're all coming from no matter how long its been. I will eventually be moving back to GA to be close to my son as I feel I know longer have a purpose here in TX. I am sad but I can't bring him back.
Msbklyn
Msbklyn
I am so very sorry that you have both lost your loves. This is the most excruciating loss in our lives, it feels like we won’t survive and I often felt as if I didn’t want to go on. But after 4 years I can say it changes. The physical pain begins to subside and you some how do continue on. I’ve tried to keep busy with work and friends including other widows/ widowed I’ve met through Soaring Spirits International. It has helped to be part of a community where everyone “gets it”. I found that crying was necessary to release my emotions and help me begin to heal. Coming here and sharing your feelings also helps to feel less alone. I hope you both find some peace.
Glego
Glego
Sorry for everyone's loss here. I too am here due to my husband's passing earlier this month. A illness for a few years now, some hospitalizations, long (ICU) just feeling extreme guilt, questioning if there was more I could have done. More research, more support for him. He was in his mid 50's. I have supportive friends/family, but I don't want to be the wet blanket.

Took everything to just get out of bed, if I didn't have to take care of the dog I would've have stayed there. No kids, empty house otherwise. I can relate to what others are saying here.
Grimmer
Grimmer
Hello All, my wife of 26 years died on 11/26/19 after s long battle with alcoholism. I too question and blame myself for not doing more. The guilt and sorrow are overwhelming. No kids and we also have a dog who is about the only thing I get moving for anymore. . The house is a constant reminder of everything so it is like getting stabbed in the heart everywhere I look. And as stated, I cry so much it is crazy....nice to know at least my experiences are not unique and so maybe what everyone says about it getting ‘better’ will also be as they state. Best wishes everyone.
Glego
Glego
Grimmer, you sound similar to me. I agree overwhelming. I managed to get out for a little while today, did drop off some bags of his clothes for donation. Also the same, everything in the house is a reminder, so I'm going to make some changes, friends have told me this is a good thing to do.

I'm also so angry, not at him personally, but at the situation. He was just starting to retire. I think of the time lost that we could have shared, I imagine seeing him on a pier with a fishing pole in his hand smiling with the sun on his face. He worked so hard.
Grimmer
Grimmer
Glego, it is all really a rip off. All the plans and hopes, gone. I am impressed you have the strength to donate some things, I have not been able to do that really at all. Do you think it helped as you friends suggested? I get in quite a state when I even think about it, however having the items around does not seem to be helping either! UGH!!!
Alma007
Alma007
My husband of 32 yrs passed away on Nov. 2018. As I read everyone's comments I notice how alike is our pain. There are so many days when I feel like I'm falling in a hole & can't stop the pain. Almost like Alice in Wonderland. I'm amazed at how hard is to find widows/widowers who are willing to talk about this horrible journey here in Washington state. There are some groups in California but that's too far to attend meetings.The only things that seem to sooth my soul and help, are hiking & working out daily.
Grimmer
Grimmer
Just getting up on the east coast (Buffalo NY) to walk the dog. Alma007, I agree it is hard to find support. By the time I started to look, they had stopped for the holidays. Cathy would be turning 51 this January 1 so this season of pain is not over for me. My lovely wife will not be with me on New Years and her birthday gift will remain in the closet never to be given. And no one else can understand the horrible way this abrupt ending feels.
Grimmer
Grimmer
BTW, if anyone ever would consider talking or texting or a group chat, let me know and I will try to work something out. I am not sure what the rules are, if any are but my email is: Grimmer916@yahoo.com.