So sorry for you, Heather! I'm not nearly as far into this journey as you, but I have hope for the future! Fate crossed my path before. Maybe it will happen again!

I agree with Guitar . . fate will cross your path again. Not always within our expected time frame, but within the time frame it's meant to be. Be gentle with self and try not to compare your grief journey in time line's with others on this journey. We all move on and grow at our own pace. Comparisons can make the journey more difficult than it already is. Your time is different than all others, your grief is unique to you. Please don't give up your faith or the hope for better tomorrows. Sometimes all we have is our faith/hope to see us through. Without that, all can be lost. We are traveling this path with you. Hold on and hang tight through this roller coaster of emotions, knowing that it didn't come to stay . . at some point it will come to pass. Hugs, Dayna

I hope God will send tangible relief soon. You need some happiness although I don't know when this will come. I've been playing euchre at the senior center, gets me out and sometimes I win. Chris

Thanx so much for your replies...and didn't mean to compare the journey time of grief...I know it is unique to us all...feels like it happened yesterday and a million years ago all at once ...

I am so sorry you are going through such profound sadness..have hope, it will lift....you came here, we understand what your'e going through, that was a good decision....(May be the step forwarded you needed)
Thinking of you, just know we are here, for you,
Hugs....Sandra

I am truly living a new life, but remember well those days of endless struggles. It seemed they would never end. The changes come slowly. We often don't notice it, or at least I didn't.

Thr tears flow less continuously and appear when triggered by an unknown. The aloneness in a room of people becomes loneliness with the special person not there to share with. And as you look into yourself you begin to see a strong capable person who is building a new life for yourself.

Some step out of role of spouse easier than others, but we all have to get to the place of saying "enough of this " and begin moving to become who we are going to be with what we have. Big hugs to you and my sorrow for your loss. Sharon

Heather, I so feel for you. It has been just over a year for me. I have to admit that sometimes, I still think Larry is going to walk through the door. I want him too so bad. Maybe I should of prepared for
losing him better, because I sure in the heck didn't know it was going
to be so excruciating.

We can only just keeping trying to feel better, if that's possible.
Take care

@HeatherMitchellListw: I'm so sorry for your loss, Heather. The death of your husband may be the most traumatic event you will ever experience in life, but the Lord knows you intimately; and in those moments when you feel unable to go on, He will be there to carry you through.

Do you think speaking to a professional counselor will help you? If you have difficulty finding one, please let me know. I'll be glad to help you.

You're in my prayers, Heather. "StayStrong"

#LetItSnow

Heather: I am so sorry for your loss. Everyone goes through this unwanted journey on their own time frame. Perhaps some counseling or a grief group could be helpful in lifting the shroud. I remember the intense greyness and monotony of hopelessness that I felt during the early stages of my grief. Getting group counseling helped me lift the shroud and move forward with my life.

Hugs,
Val

I am so sorry for your loss. Most of us struggle with meaning in our lives after the death of a spouse. We are all on this journey together so you have come to a good place. Big hug! Patti