we cry, and we become drained.
but you will cry again.

you're in shock and you're numb. you will cry again, oh will you cry again.

Yes, Meg, this is normal. Please - your grief is unique to you. The emotions will come when they come.

It's entirely normal. We run out of tears sometimes. You're still in the fog. And that's ok. Just do what you need to in each moment and do t worry about much else.

After eight months I can cry just by letting a certain thought come in. It is always right there on the threshhold. It's true though after only twelve days your deep in shock. Your body and emotions will stop for a break when it's had enough for the moment. But it will come again. Just be patient with yourself.
Peace, Tim

Meg I didn't cry for over two weeks and then didn't stop for the next six months. I don't know which was worse. Both were awful. I do know that it was not related to the depth of grief and was not controllable.

I myself just posted last week that I was worried because I wasn't crying anymore and felt like I couldn't feel anything. The wonderful folks here assured me it was normal and that the tears would come again - and they were right. I have hardly stopped for the last 4 days. But whatever you do, whenever you cry and whenever you don't, please know that there is nothing "normal" about this horrible thing we are all going through. So let yourself feel what you feel - this is your individual path through this grief, and there is no right or wrong. And know that there are many people here to walk with you when you need company and support.

I agree that there is nothing "normal" about the grief process. I don't remember doing a lot of crying the first two weeks. I didn't eat much, didn't sleep much- but I don't remember sobbing. The next three months I fell apart. I woke up puffy eyed every morning. Then- just before I hit the three month point- I felt a "lifting" of the weight of grief.

There are so many variables in grief- that, in my opinion, no two people are going to experience exactly the same emotions at exactly the same time. Grief is a journey that is unique to each griever.

I think it is true that once you have truly grieved a loss- that grief never entirely goes away. My mother's father died 45+ years before she did. Still, as she was dying, she mourned the loss of him. I do think, given time, most find joy in life again. I'm counting on it!

If I have any advice to give it is this- be kind and patient with yourself. Do the things for yourself that you would do for someone you love if they were in the pain that you are experiencing. Try to eat right, rest when you need to- ask for help when you need it. Don't compare yourself to others. Love yourself.

My thoughts are with you.

I read a quote about grief, it comes in waves. Some days I really think I am ok. Others, I am a blubbering mess. Some days I smile and laugh, and others I have to drag myself out of bed.

Your grief is your own. I don't think there are any rules when it comes to grieving, we all do it differently. So just go with it. If you need to cry, you will. If you don't, you won't. Just because you don't cry doesn't make the loss any less real.