Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
Knowing better, I had signed up for a progressive dinner with a senior group. This happened last night. We went in vans to three different homes for salad, soup, and then a main course. It was my first, so I really didn't know what to expect. I assumed it would be more "casual."
In the van I was relegated to the very back to sit alone in front of three married couples and two never married women. At the first table, I was relegated to sit in a folding chair at the end of the table next to a divorced lady. At the second home about the same. I tried so hard to exhibit good table manners because everything was so very elite and fancy, and next thing I knew, the woman on my right started wiping ranch dressing off my cheek! It couldn't have been much; I didn't feel it.
There was a small dog at the door of one of the homes, and a lady said to me, "Have you ever thought about getting a pet?" That is the WRONG question to ask me, and next time someone asks, I have a comeback ready that may be shocking but less rude. (It was the same person who had "fixed" my face.)
LSS, I suffered through this activity till I could politely sneak out to my car when we got back to our starting point for dessert. I drove home crying.
I do need just a singles group. I know that some of you don't consider yourself in that category, but technicaly, we all are. One is singular. There was one other widow there other than myself; two had opted out.
Is it wrong to tell people when you are uncomfortable with certain things? I want so badly for them to see inside my heart so as to understand the pain, and to see inside my brain so as to know how I think and why.
We are a tough bunch to please. The loneliness drives us crazy and when we are with people, the triggers drive us crazy as well.
I realized that I contradicted myself in my post by saying I wanted people to know how I think. In an earlier post I said just the opposite. But why not just get it out in the open, lay my cards out on the table? I wish I were more like my middle son, who doesn't care what anyone thinks. It's his way or the highway.
Or if you go to one of these things again, you have a story to talk about the horrible things that woman said. That could be your ice breaker.