Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
How do you go on when you know deep in your heart that you should be with your soulmate? When you realize after almost three years that you're still depressed and feel that massive void overwhelm your life? I miss him so much and know he feels the same because I feel his spirit around me daily.
In our society, you've heard that you need to let go and move on, but how do you do that when there is no manual or anything pointing to solving your grief? The fact is, there is no answer - no solution. The closest I can think of is find someone else, but even that won't fill the void. It may fulfill some needs, but I still want to be with my Tom.
I'm so sick and tired of this pain and not to discourage those new to grief, but I realize it's a very long struggle that will only end when I'm reunited with Tom in spirit.
Does anyone else, those who are a few years into partner loss, relate to how I feel?
In our society, you've heard that you need to let go and move on, but how do you do that when there is no manual or anything pointing to solving your grief? The fact is, there is no answer - no solution. The closest I can think of is find someone else, but even that won't fill the void. It may fulfill some needs, but I still want to be with my Tom.
I'm so sick and tired of this pain and not to discourage those new to grief, but I realize it's a very long struggle that will only end when I'm reunited with Tom in spirit.
Does anyone else, those who are a few years into partner loss, relate to how I feel?
Over time,l have started to accept the way things are,his illness,the traumatic death he had to endure.l often think if l would have continued thinking along these lines,you know,wanting to join him,then l would have ended up crazy with grief.Because of my kids,l have 4,they are all adults now,and l have 3 granchildren.and what they seen their dad go through,l had to start changing the way l was thinking,so this is were l am today,acceptance of his death.
This doesan,t mean that my life is easy,l still miss him,but l can,t have him back,like you l know he is with me in spirit,and this is what helps me.To many things have happened around my home,for me not to believe that it is not Franks spirit.
There has not been a manual written that tells us how to get over grief,how to move on,if this book was available,l would be the first in line to buy it.Everything is inside us,we have to deal with our own grief,l know that there are groups,counselling etc,who offer support to bereaved people,but l think most of the work is done by yourself,you have to find your own way forward.
You are only young,l,m sure one day you will find happiness with someone else,l really hope you do,but you will never forget Tom,he will always be in your heart,and always in your thoughts,we never forget them.
take care
Alice
The lack of companionship and lonliness is the hardest part for me through all of this. But in order to try to give someone else a fighting chance, I want to make sure that I want to be with someone else because I like them, not just because I am lonely.
I hope that things get better for you. I like to think about it this way, I was blessed to have hubby in my life and the 13 years that we spent together. I'll keep you in my prayers, it sounds like you are in a lot of pain.