Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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hfpvc 09/23/2016

So fortunate to have had this man as my husband....never wanted to survive him...now I am hoping praying for some cancer or accident to take me home to him...I sure don't want any family members to know I think that. I am the stepmom, they should have thier Father but now they are stuck with the stepmom and their moms...Dad is better. Plus we have a couple of grand children, but honestly I was the "aside"... grandpa was the big deal, I was just the support system, I promise you this is not coming from a delecate flower type person...believe me I am my own person but he was so strong and awesome and I just hate that I am the survivor of our life together. Anyone else out there in a similar situation? I love his children, couldn't have my own and the grand kids I love the same as a "real blood" grandparent...I think...is blood thicker than water???? So much love, but I'd leave this world in a heart beat if it meant I could be with my sweet husband again.

rebl3157 09/24/2016

I know how you feel. After my husband was killed in an accident I wanted to go so bad. He was 10 years younger. He should have out lived me. I even pulled out into heavy traffic. After that it shook me up that I could have killed innocent people. The kids and grand kids need you more than ever. Please remember they are hurting too. You have to be strong! Take your time and let the grief run its course.you'll want to scream, cry cuss,and many other things. Beat up a pillow. It will make you feel better. Come here often, read other post. You are not alone. Reach out we are all here to hold your hand and walk with you down this ugly road.
Rachel

luckydaughter 09/24/2016

So very sorry about your loss. If you love his kids and grandkids as your own then they know that and would be hurt so bad if you died after losing him. Pls stay strong

luckydaughter 09/24/2016

Ooops hit send too fast
I am glad you found this forum. You are with people who know what it is like to lose a beloved spouse. Sylvia

DarklyDreaming 09/24/2016

My prayers are with you love and you accepted those kids in your heart...they are your children

hfpvc 09/24/2016

Thank you for the support, I understand in my head that other people are going through this journey but my heart feels so alone. Yes...I will be strong, I had a dream last night that I dropped to the ground in wailing grief...curled up into a ball, then an inner voice came to me and told me to get up and be strong....so Deep Cleansing breath...here we go. I am sorry to all of you that you all are on this sight for a reason too. I send you love and strength as well.

Shrn 09/24/2016

I know and understand the feelings. After being part of our life together we often forget we are strong enough to survive what feels impossible to survive. Grief is the hardest thing I have ever encountered. Burying my parents was hard, but to lose my husband....unbearable. I did bare it with tears, anger, and fear. You will survive also and we are here with you as much as you need. We understand because we are living it too. Sharon

tim57 09/26/2016

My wife had a daughter when we met. She was around 10 years old. Never thought of her as a step daughter or she as me as her step father. Simply father and daughter. You are their mother and they need you around. This is a hard path but it will get better over time. My wife went to heaven a little over a year ago. You don't get over it but learn to live with it. We always knew we would lay down our life for the other. So if one of us has to go thru this pain and grieving I'm glad it's me not her. I would rather deal with it than know she would be here trying to figure this out alone.
Blood may reproduce a child but it takes more than that to love them. Your are their mom and grandmother.
Take care.
Peace, Tim

hfpvc 09/26/2016

Thanks Tim, I appreciate those thoughts, I will trust in my love for them.

EJ1 09/26/2016

The pain and loss will never ease but you have many years to look back on and alot of love around you. treasure the family and love that you still have.

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