Firstly, I am so very sorry for your loss. I was in your shoes 1 year ago. The anniversary of my husband's passing is this Friday He suffered a sudden cardiac arrest and died 30 days later. I never said good bye because we all thought he was going to make it. However your loss was so extremely sudden and without any warning. So yes, I'm sure you are in shock. I was for about a month after. I felt the same way, just please let me fast forward and not be in this awful pain. I want you to know the pain, the real physical pain does subside over time. For me it was extended as his sister passed away four months later which complicated my situation. But I am doing better, trying to find my way. My children are also in their 20's and have given me much support. Take one day at a time, find ways to keep busy and allow yourself to grieve. It's true that the only way to move forward is through the pain. You can survive. God bless you and may you feel his peace on your journey

I lost my dear wife in August and pain is terrible. I have a 7 year old daughter who is being very strong. Life seems to take unexpected turns and you have to accept the same and move on. Cry when you feel like. Do read books about spirituality and what really dying is all about. What this physical life is all about. It maynot reduce the pain right away but would give you understanding of the same which would lead to deeper meaningful life. Once again sorry to hear about your loss as i try to cope myself with the loss of my dearest loving wife. May the departed ones provide you with the strength and courage to lessen and eventually overcome your pain.

We all know the pain you are experiencing. Don't hope for the numbness to leave too soon because that is what is insulating you from the sorrow to come. No reason to hurry, just survive. Let time be your friend and take lots of it. Minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, you will conquer this grief. But the only way to conquer it is to surrender to it. Grief is an odd thing. We can in no way control it at first -- it controls us. But at some point in your misery you will find that you can control the when and where to a certain extent. Right now, just let grief do what it wants -- it will anyway. There will be times when you will feel like God has abandoned you -- but He will never leave you nor forsake you. Regardless of how you feel or think, He has His loving arms wrapped around you. You are His daughter and He will always care for you. This is your grief, and you have to get through it in whatever way works for you. No rights and no wrongs and no best answers. We just figure it out as go along and do the best we can. And all the while we are in survival mode, maybe we will be lucky and find ourselves in the process. All most of us knew was being a part of a "we". Soon it will be time for you to get to know the "me". Who are you inside yourself? And you may find like I did that we are whoever we decided to define ourselves to be. Finally, consider this grief as a part of the human experience that most every person will encounter at some point in their life. The human race has survived, as will you. And you will emerge from this a different person. Hopefully better and stronger. Nonetheless, you will be different.
Catching a glimpse of a butterfly
Makes me ponder upon the thought
That we, like the caterpillar
Were once encased in our shell
And have now broken free
To discover the world.

I wrote that poem over 40 years ago. And only now am I beginning to understand its meaning. And it took the death of my wife for me to begin to grasp what life is really about. Take care and write as much as you can. Writing has helped me more than anything. God bless and comfort us all ~~~ Scottie

Thanks Scottie. Your words inspire me to be strong and to keep hanging on. I can just hear God's words speaking through you. Thank you for being a God's vessel.

Oh Scottie, Your words dance like like magic we all need to hear that, So very sorry for your loss but you have come to the right place we all share the same. Hugs Jeanne

I see angels.
They are singing and they are rejoicing.
I see the Lord, and He is smiling and holding His arms out to me.
I feel happy. Happier than I have ever felt.
I am not weak. I am not tired. I am not sad.
I walk to the Lord. He encircles His arms around me. I am so happy!
The songs of the angels fill my chest with love and life.
I am greeted by so many I have missed for so long. It is a celebration of enormous joy.
There is a banquet and a feast and I am alive.
I have not died. I live. I rejoice. I am home.
I cannot come back to those who mourn me, but you will be at this banquet one day and I will greet you, and you will see what wonderful love and joy this life is.
Do not weep, for I am well. And I will hold you close and know that it is just seconds until we see each other again.

My wife Tanya, who passed away only two weeks ago, wrote this last year. Almost as if she knew she would be going home soon.

Wow!

You have to give yourself time to go thru the emotions. I lost my husband of a heart attack in June. His birthday is coming up on the 4th. He would have been 56. We had seven grandkids together and the onl grandson misses him every day still. But I know he is happy and with his Mom and Dad. You will get past it. But give it time.

I am sorry you needed to find us but glad you did find us. I lost my husband Cliff to an unexpected heart attack in 2007. No chance to say goodbye, just me screaming begging him not to go. We had been discussing all our future plans just the night before - just a few hours before his death. Everything in my life changed in moments. I joined here because there were no groups I could get to, and being here helped me rebuild my life. It will be 9 years in November -- hard to believe! My life looks nothing like it did before Cliff died, but it is good. I am happy. I have remarried, to a widower I met in this group. I moved from the USA to the UK. My life is completely different now. But it is good.

It would have been so easy to give up during the early days, but I would have missed so much if I had. It is danged near impossible to contemplate any happiness, any future, during the early months. But you can get through this, you can rebuild, you can adjust, and it will be worth it.

I still miss Cliff every single day of my life. But it doesn't hurt anymore. It will never be fair that he died at only 55. It will never be fair that our sons lost their hero. But it doesn't hurt anymore. And I never thought I would say that. Ever.

Welcome to the group I wish no one ever needed. I hope you find the comfort and understanding here that I did.

Love and Hugs,
Martha, co-Community Leader

Thanks Martha for sharing your story. It gave me a bit of hope that we all can be happy again someday. Hugs to you..

We all can but it takes a huge effort some days some seconds more then others...I started to bike again after 12 years and am loving it.Its helping me feel like me...It takes time around two years.There will be a light at the end of the tunnel.My first husband died and around 2.5 years later i met my second husband and we lasted to his health took him,,for 36 years..I know theres a light,just allow yourself time. All my Love and Prayers for you . It does get better in time.