First of all, I am very sorry for your loss. You will find people on this site really spportive and caring. Having had to euthanase your dog must have been another tough hurdle for you.

I am fairly new to the grieving road, but from my short experience and also reading posts on this site, you will find that there are some really bad days and sometimes some easier days when you think "I might be ok", only to be followed by an even worse day than you experienced before. A bit like one step forward and two steps backwards.

For me the fog lifting, or rather going back to real life, happened at the end of three month mark. But we are all different and, I am sure, there is no fast rule. I am now not sure if there ever will be a return to "normal" because our normal has been altered forever and we will have to achieve a new "normal". I cannot put a timescale on this because I do not know myself. I yearn to be feeling at peace and happy and "normal" but I am a long way from that yet. I live in hope though because I have chosen life.

It is very true when we are advised to take a day at the time and to be kind to ourselves. I am not very good at following advice, even my own, but I can see the value in it.

The only thing I can do is to wish you courage and try to get help from the people closest to you, hopefully they will be supportive. At this time in our life we need all the support we can get.

Big hugs. Viviane.

Sorry to meet you on this road. It is so very difficult, is it not? I would never tell you that in time you will feel normal again. I can only tell you that once you have walked through the grief experience, you do find a new normal - We will all be reunied in the fullness of time when we have graduated from this particular earth experience. Be kind to yourself and know that you are not alone on the road - many travel with you and we know your pain. xxx

I'm with you, lost mine April 21, 2013 after 41 years of marriage and we met when I was 16. I'm just as lost as you are, I'm not computer literate and I don't hang at bars....Kind of "What do I do next?" Just been a housewife most of the time. Scared to get on computer because of people praying on widows etc. So far just redecorating house as I cry when I go to the rooms he spent most of his time! Then I feel ashamed for trying to wipe out the memory....I'm not really doing that, I just am so tired of crying...and trying to stay busy...How do you start over?

I am sorry for your losses, and all our losses.

I am at 4 1/2 months. We started going together at 15, and married at 16, next week would have been our 48th wedding anniversary.

The fog is lifting for me. And I miss the numbness it brought to my pain. It makes you feel raw again. You will never feel normal again, but will have to begin a new normal. Our lives have changed, and we will have to adapt. I am sorry to say that. But I have read on here that people have gotten on with some degree of their lives. I look forward to that day.

I am so sorry you had to join our sad group, but you are in good company here. We all understand where you are, and where you are going down this road.

Sandee

This group is wonderful and so supportive, I am at 4 1/2 months and there are the good days and the bad. You will find nights and weekends are quite difficult. I am still struggling, but am trying to make myself get out and about. There are days I simply want to be alone and that is ok too. Please feel free to share whatever you need to on here. Our lives are forever changed, but those further along say we will find a new normal. I so hope so.

I am so sorry for your loss.

The fog is normal, I think it's the brains way of protecting us for awhile. I'm at 4 months, the fog has lifted a little.

Be patient and don't push yourself, just take it one day at a time. You'll find alot of great support.

Diane

The dog is a big ONE! Probably symbolized your relationship with this fun family dog. YOU NEED to ask your children for help. That was the first thing my therapist said to me. I am a very strong person, but not used to asking for help. BUT you NEED to.ask them for help. They relate to you as the Adult, Knowing all of their problems, etc. They just need to know that the game plan has completely changed right now for the whole family.

My sincerest sympathies. You can maybe make a new "normal" but you should hope you never get over him. We were married 45 yrs before she passed and the last thing I'm trying to do is get over it.
That would be like trying to get over most of my life. I'm not moving on, I prefer to live in the past. I wish you sweet dreams of him.

Hi. I am sorry for the tragic loss of your husband and the added grief of having to put a beloved pet down. You did the right thing to reach out and come to this site. Everybody here can relate. A few months before my husband passed, and he was so sick and depressed anyway, he had to put our dog down (the one in my picture). We adopted her from a dear friend and neighbor of ours whose dying wish was that we give her a home. We gave her as many more happy years as we could. That was the hardest pet to put down. We can only see the stars when it's the darkest, and we have to believe we will see them. Many others have walked this road before and attest to it getting better. God bless, and may you, and us all, find some peace.

I am sorry. I'm additionally sorry about the dog. Sometimes, it seems like when it rains it pours. I wish you weren't here, but I hope you find that it is supportive and helpful for you. The fog is lifting for me, just a little over three months. It happens gradually. I agree that it's the brains way of protecting us. I hope you find peace tonight and just know that what you are feeling will pass. It takes time, what feels like forever. But it will pass. Music helped me a lot early on.

Thank you everyone for your kind words, the fog is slowly lifting, and I feel I have made some progress, I have cleaned out cupboards, taken lots of household items to opportunity shops, found a part time job 3 days a week, cleaned out my husband's garage (he was a horder),
getting slowly through all the necessary paperwork with lawyers, accountant etc. We had our own retail business which I am in the process of winding up, It is very difficult to have to deal with all the legalities when my husband did all this stuff.
My adult children are great, I have a 16 month old grandson who my husband adored, visiting him every morning on the way to work and it is so sad he cannot share with me the unbelievable joy he brings to me. I have a grandchild coming in September from my son and daughter in law and my daughter has announced that she is expecting in April 2014. So I have plenty to look forward to - how life changes.
The hardest is getting up to go to bed each night, and coming home to an empty house. I go to bed and scroll through photos on the ipad before going to sleep, and last night dreamed we were in our business - he was alive - and I told him "I am so glad all your clothes are still in the wardrobe, you have all your clothes and shoes.
I suppose I am just dealing with it all in my dreams.
Anyway
Little things set me back, and I am slowly learning to cry when I feel like crying, and to let the feelings just flow.
Thank you again for this wonderful site, it really helps to see I am not alone and this gives me much comfort.
Thankyou all,
Rifka53

Yes, you will find a new "normal" for yourself. Like you, our beloved four legged child, Missy, went to be with my husband within a few months of Ron's passing. They were best buddies in life and she missed him greatly. It took me a bit, but I finally found that I liked the idea of them being together again. But at the time, it just seemed to add to the overwhelming stuff I was already in the middle of due to Ron's passing. It will and does get better, I promise. Be kind and gentle with yourself now as your body, mind and spirit makes the adjustments needed for your well being. Blessings always. Sharon k.

I also lost my husband of 47 years who had heart problems. We got married when I was 19 so you see I was never on my own. My two children are grown with life's of their own. My son lives in the same state but my daughter lives in another state. My husband passed on July 5, so my daughter is with me now to help settle his affairs. She will be gone soon what will I do?
I can relate with you on your situation of beaning alone.

I am sorry for your loss. I lost my husband six years ago this past July to lung cancer. I now volunteer here, along with cliffskat and marjoe to help support and encourage the members in their loss. I understand your pain on being here at this site, none of us has a desire to be here, but I hope in time you find it a blessing in your life. Please come as you feel you want and share as you need. Sharon

sorry for your loss and welcome to the group