I am so sorry for your loss, crazy. It has been five months since my wife passed, and I don't have a lot to offer you except maybe be kind with yourself. It's important to self care, eat, sleep, let out the tears when they want to come. Take it one minute at a time, remember to breathe deep and often and be gentle with yourself. triple hugs~

Thank you for the kind words. This is not how my life was supposed to be. I don't know if I'll ever get used to not having my husband here with me. We are both retired and it makes for a very long day living alone. Guess I'm doing a little wallowing too!

CNL

I can relate. 4 weeks today for me. Mary passed on January 7th at 4:25am.
I never anticipated this. I feel almost stupid for how unprepared I was.
I am not writing to help. I am writing for help. I will be curious how your next weeks and months go.
I hope you are willing to continue to share.
I had brunch with my brother and his wife today. It was helpful but just another time to share, to cry, and to wish I wasn't dealing with this.

I am so sorry for your loss. These days are rough for sure I think reality really set in around 4 weeks for me which is where you are now. I read a book recommended on this site which I think helped me very much...it's okay that you are not okay by Megan Devine. I think the expectations of others make it harder for me, everyone wants you "better-right now" and when you try to live up to that it's another fail or loss. One thing Megan says in her book which I really liked was that "grief is an extension of your love." And your love is just between you and him just as your grief should be" ((hugs) And welcome my friend although this isn't where any of want to be we are blessed to have each other. Nell

I only have two:
Get a journal. Write when you feel especially sad. You will feel better after writing them down. Also further down, it will be a piece of memorabilia.
Walk out of the house. Even if it is for a short distance.

I also recommend the book mentioned by Neil.

Thanks rain I'm sorry I couldn't remember who recommended it. I found great strength in that book-thank you!

LOL.. not saying I recommended it, but to say I would not hesitate to recommend this book... I love Megan's writings.

My grammar school teacher is not impressed.

It has been a few days short of 3 months for me since I lost my husband. You will have some days that aren't as bad. They come and go . I have had a few days last week that felt as bad as the day he passed. Only problem is I felt everything more because I don't have the shock and numbness. This journey is a roller coaster ride. Thankfully you have found this group and it will help you to know that your feelings aren't crazy or wrong. You are not alone .

I don’t think it’s wallowing, crazy. It really hasn’t been that long and your entire life has changed. I am feeling a lot of similar feelings and other have told me to be gentle with myself right now so that is why I say it to you. It helps.

Hi Crazy, There are things I did that helped me along this hard road, a cup of coffee in the morning where I would spill all my feelings out to God before the day began, tea in the afternoon with my next door neighbor, doing my grocery shopping with a friend on her day off. In the beginning, where you are now, I often had to force myself to go out and see others. Sometimes I just couldn't do it. Sometimes I would even hide from others. I needed to walk through much of my grief alone, but I found that slowly, slowly, the company of others really did take the edge off of the darkness of my day and telling it all to God and asking for His help before the day began was something that I needed to do even if I couldn't relate to others that day. I will be praying for your strength and comfort through all of this.

My Deepest Sympathy. This is such a hard time. I can certainly relate. It doesn't take much to set us off in the beginning. Grieving is hard work. Try to go slowly. One day at a time. If there is a support group in your area you may find comfort there. You also have many friends here who care and are here for you. I wish you Strength and Peace. Hugs, from Dolores

I lost my husband one month ago. I am getting through my days for the most part, although I have been sleeping until noon. The nights are long and difficult. I miss him so much. I wish I had some wonderful advice. Just know that there are others who relate to you, and are glad to listen any time.

This is a roller coaster ride that I cannot get off of. The lows are so low. I have signed up for a Grief Sharing program that starts 2/22. I am looking forward to this class just so I can see that what I'm going through is normal. Please tell me, does the deep deep longing for my spouse to come back to me ever let up or get easier. There is a hole in my heart that I don't think will ever mend. I feel like part of me has disappeared. Just writing this down makes me cry. When will the tears stop and when will the hurt ease up? Or does it ever?

I am so sorry for your loss, I remember being at that point when I lost my best friend/husband. its been 5 years now, I can hardly believe that much time has gone bye. all I can say is hang in there. it doesn't really get easier but time does help. try to be around your loved ones as much as possible, it really helps get you through those rough minutes, days and weeks.

My wife died Jan. 7th...21 years of a good marriage swept away by the flu and Pneumonia...this was a woman that BEAT breast cancer...OMG...Im soo lost and seeking help and friends...Im 68 and don't have a clue where to start...