It is so hard to be alone with your thoughts and memories. I had a very bad day yesterday. Every day is a struggle. Stay strong and hope for better days ahead!!!!

I am so very sorry for your loss. This is a good place for you to come to read and share. You will see that you are not alone, that others have survived this loss and somehow gone on. Things will be rough for some time. But as time goes on it will change and the deep pain will ease a bit. Bereavement groups can help as well as activities that get you out with people. Try to spend time with people who are supportive and do things that make you feel good. Exercise helps too. After 14 months I can say that it still hurts and you never "get over it" but it does get better. I wish you peace. God Bless. Marybeth

After only 9 weeks there is no way that you are ok. November 29th was four months since I lost my husband.ams like you there were a few days where I thought that I was ok or that the pain was getting better then you find an old birthday card in a drawer or his favorite sweater in the closet and you fall apart all over again. What I am learning is that grief has to be felt a second at a time. Since Bob died I have faced our wedding anniversary, first thanksgiving, my first birthday and christmas is coming soon without him. I have spent days crying about my loss and have allowed myself to feel the agonizing pain of missing him and some how I wake up the next day and have survived it. What has worked for me is finding a really good therapist and sticking close to the people in life who are easy and put no expectations on me. Being around easy people when I want to and am able to has given me the courage to venture out for the occasional lunch or dinner. All of my interactions are on my terms only. I think that the pain of losing someone whom you loved so much is so overpowering and that we want an end date for the pain. Love doesn't work like that and neither does grief. I hope that you can reach out to loving and nurturing friends or family and find someone whom you can talk to. I wish you light, love and healing.

Thank you everyone for your kind thoughts. I have a very helpful, loving and supportive daughter and son in law, good friends and wonderful cousins. Most days I enjoy staying home, I feel safe here. Unfortunately, I also deal with anxiety and panic disorder, worse now since my Husband's passing.
I was also his full time caretaker for two years. I know that this journey will not be easy but I am hopeful in time, things will get better. I also faced an anniversary alone, we were married 26 years, 11 months and 4 days, a second marriage for both of us. Thanks for letting me vent, and yes, i see a therapist.