My husband died of colon cancer in February 2014. He lived for five years from diagnosis, and had so many chemotherapy infusions that I lost count in the end. Radiation, and surgery too. So many horrible things to endure but he did it all with such strength to carry on and live his life. We had been married for 35 years and going on without him is so hard. I keep thinking that he will walk into the house any minute, and every time my phone rings I automatically think it is him. My children and I spent his last week at his bedside at home, talking to him and nursing him with minimal hospice help, and though I wouldn't change that it was a traumatic time for all of us and we have recurrent dreams of those last hours. He opened his eyes at the last minute and looked straight at us, and then the light went from his eyes. I shall never forget it. He wanted us to play Fleetwood Mac's "Don't Stop Thinking About Tomorrow" at his service,and that song does help me to know that he wanted us to keep on with our lives. Strange how it comes onto the radio at low moments. All the hospital visits, and emergency rooms, and drips and scans and paracentesis, it was all so awful really, but it became our life for a while and now it's stopped and in some weird way I miss it because at least he was here. We formed such relationships with the doctors and I haven't heard from any of them since he died. Hospice continues to interact with me though and are very supportive.