Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Death & Dying
/ Widows & Widowers Support Group

New to this forum... and widowhood

WhiteSwan
WhiteSwan

I lost my husband unexpectedly in October.  The past 8 months have been filled with life changes... funeral service, selling a house, delayed burial of ashes, moving temporarily cross country, and making a ton of emotional decisions that have not been great in between. It's starting to hit me like a ton of bricks now that I don't have to soldier on.  My only decision left is whether to continue my teaching job or give a year notice (since I am up for tenure this year, but the prospect of going back and living in the midwest does not appeal to me right now...not that many things motivate me).  I see that if I do not get some support, I will probably sink further into this mire of emotional inability to move forward.  I joined a grief group, but all of the widows are much older than I am, and are not close to experiencing my delimmas.  Thanks for listening.

VWTDIFAN
VWTDIFAN
For me it's like I lock up. All these decisions and responsibilities, yet I just don't seem to care. What's the point I ask myself. Nothing I do will bring her back. It's very hard to stay motivated.
LostwithoutPat
LostwithoutPat
So very sorry for the loss of your husband. I lost my husband suddenly in January and I feel the same. So many decisions to make and I don't even care. I haven't been to a grief group because I figured most of the woman will be older and not completely relatable. Hope you will find some help and comfort here. I know I have. Hugs to you today.
Ellebelle
Ellebelle
Im so sorry for the pain you are going through. The hurt is so deep and i feel as though im making a step forward here or there but exhuasted and defeated in the majority of my moments. Lost my darling man in december 2016 and feel as though our life together was something ill be longing for an eternity he had such a gentle way about him. I loved every second we had. I wish i could call him and tell him everything. This is a path that many dont understand but im glad to have found this place it helps some. Big hugs to you as you continue this unwanted journey.
WhiteSwan
WhiteSwan
Thank you all for your words of support.
SandyZal
SandyZal
Well, I'm 60 and I'm dealing with the exact same issues as you are. I think going to a grief group is a good thing. I went to one last week. I suppose most of the people there were at least 20 years older than I was but they have exactly the same thing happening in their lives. It happens no matter how old you are. There are also many young people who have lost their spouses. Start a group if you don't think us old people can relate to you.
WhiteSwan
WhiteSwan
I think your last line was unnecessarily harsh. If you read my post carefully, you will see that I said much older and not experiencing the same dilemmas. They were all retired at the time of the passing. I do not have a lot of resources and I'm doing what I can. Please try to be more empathetic in your responses to posts. We are dealing with enough as it is.