I am so sorry for ypur loss and everything you are going through Venting here is good. I am glad that the coach has stepped up...you are an amazing mom. Wishing you continued strength and hopefully some peace.

I understand how you feel. And I think your feelings are to be expected since you know this will not be the only time you feel upset about the situation you are in, that you never wanted any part of.

Protecting our children is instinctive and of course you want life to be different for him. Or rather, not different, but the same as it was.

As hard as it is for me to accept how my life has changed, it's much worse when I think about how different it is for my granddaughter who lives with me. She's lived with us since she was 4, and my husband's life revolved around her, and our dog. I was solidly in third place.
She's had to give up karate and swim lessons and endless adventures because I work every week end.
It's very upsetting.
I'm so glad your son's coach is able to help. I'm sorry you can't be there yourself. Take good care.

This is a good place to vent. I did it with a couple discussions and my journal. There is no right way to go about this new life that was thrusted on us because of our loved ones death. And how you pictured the rest of your life changed. hang in here we all will support you. Hugs Donna

You deserve to be angry, upset, and sad. No need to control the emotions. There are moments in our life that emotions control us, and this is one of them. Only when you allow emotions to come, so you can let them go. It is part of healing. Hugs, tiger

Bonnie, I am so sorry you can't attend. But how wonderful that the coach is stepping up. Please come here and vent everytime you need to. There are so many things that we expected to do together and now that is not possible. Hang in there, you are a great mom or this wouldn't bother you so much. Know that you are not alone. We all get what you are going through. Hugs and Love, Michele

Bonnie, you sound like a wonderful mom and I'm sure your son knows that. You're doing what you have to to take care of your family. Your example of dedication and love will serve him well in becoming a loving and dependable man. Sometimes the winds don't blow your way but in the end what matters is how you handled yourself through the storm. Keep the faith, be strong and trudge on. You're doing a great job! Love to you
Darcie

Oh, I am so sorry that you can't be there for your son. I can't imagine how heartbreaking that is for you. But wonderful that someone has a plan B for your son. Is someone able to record games for you and then maybe you could watch them together?

I understand the "we" had a plan. That's all I thought about last night. Our plan was to have moved into the first house that we would own together. The house that was totally "us". No more renting. Now I need to figure out "me".

Hugs,

Sheila

My God you women (and men) that still have kids at home to care for and raise are so unbelievably strong. When I think about that, I realize what a true wimp I am. But nothing I can do to change the course of my grief - just gotta let it do its thing in its own unique timing - and like a wandering river it will ever so slowly take me to whatever unknown destination lies ahead. Welcome to this group Bonnie. A whole lot of loving and caring and hurting people here just like yourself. ~ Scott

Bonnie, I lost my husband 3.5 years ago. Now I'm on my own raising three young children. Unfortunately, the reality of being a single parent is that time is limited. However, the essential ingredient children need is love, they need to feel safe and secure. They don't need to be driven around for sporting events. My kids are not in any competitive sports leagues because I don't have time to do all the trips. They are not missing out on anything because there is a lot of negative energy among the parents of the players.

Antonella

Bonnie, with all you've been through, you are one amazing mother! My children are grown, but I grieve mightily for what they and my grandchildren will miss because they and my husband loved each other so much. I too feel anger sometimes, and the "no we" left in our plans is still devastating. This is not the time to control your feelings. You need to feel them to get through them. It's a hard road, hon. Just take it one day at a time. I always hated that advice, but really it's all you can do. Know we're all here.
Linda