Oh Kelly81082, I'm so, so sorry for your loss. My goodness, it's only been 8 days for you. I'm not much further ahead...my husband passed 40 days ago. He was sick for 20 days that turned out to be pancreatic cancer, and bam! He was gone. We didn't even get to start treatment. I'm sure I still haven't really processed the diagnosis, yet alone the fact that he really and truly is gone.

You are not alone and there are many online groups who know the sadness, shock, anger and loneliness this new journey is about. You can find local support groups through griefshare, and also check out Soaring Spirits International for another large group of widows and widowers. They were so quick to wrap their cyber arms around me and tell me that I'm not alone, and I've made many, many connections in such a short time.

One thing I've been desperate to hear from other widows/widowers is if there is a reason to hope. And the answer is YES! And I'm experiencing it already. I have giant waves of grief hit me pretty much every day, but I'm able to get out of bed each day and go to work. I consider that to be HUGE victories!

We are here for you!

Sorry to hear this. You be in shock for a while. Please remember to grieve/mourn guilt free on your own time line.

I am so sorry Kelly81082, My husband died on November 30th. It happened very quickly as well. I can definitely relate to feeling lost and lonely. I am also so sorry for your son.. (((Big Giant Hugs))) for both of you. Off the top of my head I'm thinking of the book Option B by Sheryl Sandberg. She lost her husband in her forties but had younger children. I thought it was a pretty good book. I've read a bunch and take what works for me and leave the rest, but I'd say that one was the best I've read so far. I hope that's not presumptuous..reading grief books while curled up in bed has kinda been a thing for me but, obviously, it's not for everyone. I really really despise cancer.

Sorry for your loss.my wife died September 17 and I am still in shock.They say it gets better with time I really hope so.

Much love sent <3 best thing you can do is not to give up on your son and take it day by day, I lost my boyfriend before I could even propose to him and I'm only 19. <3 tripple hugs

Sending many hugs and prayers to you! I lost my husband on August 2, 2017. We have been married for 31 yrs. He was 53 and I am 51. It is so hard even after 5 months. All we all can do is one day at a time AND remember you are never actually alone.

I’ve been widowed twice. First time I was 45. Again past February. You’d think I would know how to help myself. But I’m getting worse, not better. Lost

I’m so glad you reached out so early on your grief. I’m new here tonight but hurt for you.

My first husband died also from an undiagnosed aneurysm. He was 56 and an athlete. The shock was beyond description. It’s 20 yrs later. I’m 66 now and have lost my second husband after a long and terrible illness. I don’t know what’s worse.

I am so sorry that you and your son are on this terrible journey. Your mind protects your heart so I think that it takes a very long time to sink in. It has been only 2 months for me and it still has not sunk in. Look only at this minute or hour. or day. It is too overwhelming to look too far forward right now. When you are ready one book finally described how I feel. It is "It is OK to Not Feel Ok" by Megan Devine. It helped me understand that I am not crazy. Sending hugs and prayers.

My husband died in 10/24. He went in for heart surgery and never came out. It was a shock because it was so quick and unexpected. You will be in shock for a while! Lean on friends and family as much as you can. They helped me so much just being there. Thinking of you!

jsteine1, I too have been through this twice and within a 6 year period of time. The first time it was quick - a massive heart attack. The second time it was cancer, which progressively got worse over a two and a half year stretch. It does seem to get worse instead of better. I am not coping well at all. I have very little support where I am, so I am thinking about moving back cross country. I don't mean to come across as negative to those who are freshly into this journey. Kelly, so sorry for your loss...

Thank you for the book suggestions. I am a big reader so I am sure I will be checking them both out. I am so sorry for those of you going through this a 2nd time.

Kelly I am so sorry for your loss. I loss my husband on 12/23/2017 and he was also 51. I pray that God give you strength to cope with your loss.

I'm so sorry Kelly, you are too young for this horrible tradegy. This life seems very unfair sometimes. Please try to take "One day at a time" and after awhile the days will seem a little brighter. We all take different amounts of time to heal and NOBODY has the right to tell you how long that should take. Just take care of you and and your son, maybe yous can help each other heal. I want to recommend the book, and to you all, "Good Grief," by There's Caputo, the Long Island medium. Hugs and love to you.