Scott, I too check in, but seldom find anyone on here. I am not such a critical point as you are right now though.

I cannot imagine the struggles (again) as you try to let Wendy know how much you do love her... and while you will have to let her go (even though you may not want to) you do not want her to hang on if she is in such pain. Just remember she (just as your first wife) will ALWAYS BE WITH YOU as you carry her love and those memories in your heart.

I know that is of little comfort and I wish I could do more. If I should find another group somewhere, I will be sure to let you know. My love and hugs to you both.
Kim

https://www.meetup.com/
https://widowedcommunity.org/
http://www.kiwiwidow.co.nz/
https://nationalwidowers.org/
https://soaringspirits.org/programs/you-are-not-alone-outreach/https://
www.cancercare.org/support_groups/57-spouse_partner_s_bereavement_support_group
https://www.allwidowers.com/browse-interests


Sometimes going back through old DS posts helps. I found a few sites that you may visit, Scott. And there is a CL group leader here at W&W, Martha. As she has the time she may better help you by explaining more of what you may do with your feelings. Martha (or cliffskat) is an excellent community leader, as I'm certain that you already know this.

Best!

I check in every day and I miss everyone that used to come here. I have joined Soaring Spirits on Facebook but haven't found the same connection that was on DS. You may like them though. ((Hugs))

Facebook has a bunch of widow groups. There is a group for any kind of stage you may be at. I'm on a mens group and a young widow group on there and they're pretty active.

Scott,

I agree with you about the bonds made under the first DS format. I can't put my finger on the reason this current format seems distant and disconnected in comparison to the one we used earlier. I don't see an opportunity to chat/text like Meebo which was the program we used 10 or so years ago. That was such a help to chat in real time with those who had bonded. I know that the creators of Daily Strength changed formats to stay current, but I sure miss the tried and true former Daily Strength format. Nonetheless, DS was a Godsent when I needed to exchange thoughts with others traveling the dark journey of loss.

I remember when you met Wendy on DS, and I was so very sorry to see your recent post that there were dire health issues. You took a huge leap of faith when you moved to Australia, and were blessed with several years of love because of your decision. I hope you are able to find a Web site that can provide emotional support during the upcoming days.

May you and Wendy find comfort in the cherished days ahead. Blessings to you. TJ

I've been a widow for 12-1/2 years now, and in a few days it will be my 9th anniversary as Community Leader here. It's been hard to hang on at times and still feel like I can help. I try, but the revamped format makes it very difficult.

That being said, I have a couple suggestions for you.

First, you need to be in face-to-face counseling this time around. Online is not likely to be enough this time around. Check with hospice, or perhaps Wendy's doctors for a referral.

I have checked out a lot of sites over the years, and none come close to the old version of DS. The closest I have found is:

http://widowedvillage.org/

They verify your status as a widow/widower for membership. You could try them.

I'm sorry this site isn't as helpful as it once was. Believe me, I feel it acutely. DS changed my life for the better - as it did yours. I miss the old one a lot.

Love and Hugs,
Martha

100 percent right this site was the best ,everyone here helped me so much and I am thankful for what this site did for me finding Wendy here as a friend at first then more was a bonus and that is why I came back because this site was so great . I will never regret the jump of faith I did to be with Wendy and will always cherish the past 9 years with her I feel even with this very bad new format that this site can still help people it just feels like a ghost town here sorry if that hit any nerves .we just need to chat and try to help each other . I remember both pathoflife and cliffskat and I remember when Martha became CL . I hope to see more posts here in the future and thanks for everything ..Scott

Scott,

Even though you don't feel the bonding in DS, please know that many care.

My DH passed 14 1/2 years ago. After 4 1/2 years, I stumbled on DS one evening when I was searching the Web for a site that I could be anonymous and interact with others who had suffered loss. I needed to hear how others survived and moved forward. DS brought more into my life than I ever could have imagined. I found friendship, understanding, and wise counsel. It also provided an opportunity for me to help others, especially since my loss was a bit further down the road than most on DS: truly a blessing going both ways.

I'm so glad that DS was the instrument that brought Wendy into your life. Nine years of love and devotion can never be discounted even in the midst of your wrenching heartache. Hang tight during those moments when life becomes almost unbearable. Martha's suggestion of one-on-one support is excellent. I applaud you for seeking help. May you be guided to the exact person who can provide the most competent support for you.

Blessings to you and Wendy. You both are fortunate to have found one another. TJ