Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Cindi_96 09/14/2016

Hello everyone. I am new to the group, I lost my husband of almost 22 years on August 30, 2016. I feel completely lost and alone even with the support of my children and my family. I don't sleep much and most of the time I just feel like I'm going through the motions of life. I have been reading the posts and comments and I am hoping to find support from others who can understand where I am at. I still expect to see him at home or to get a text from him. I can't stand to think that I will never hear his voice again, hold his hand or hear his laughter. I am overwhelmed with the thoughts of not having him here to share the rest of our lives as our children get married and have families of their own. It still all seems so surreal.

willowbreeze 09/14/2016

Hi Cindi...I'm so sorry for your loss.
I lost my Jimmy on April 28th from an unexpected bloodclot which caused him to go into cardiac arrest...we were in each others life for 27 years.
I can relate to your feelings of being lost and alone and it is very hard for others who have not been through that kind of loss to understand what you are feeling.
I expect to see my Jimmy every time I walk through the door to tell me it was just a bad dream and that it's ok now but the reality sets in when he's not and the waves of grief hit.
I find comfort in this group by reading others stories and the different stages they are in on their journey.
They have all been and felt what we do now and have managed to find glimpses of happiness along their journey with time and reaching out to others who understand and will offer a comforting word when you most feel alone and need anothers hand.
I hope you find some peace and comfort tonight in knowing others care and understand what your feeling and know that your husband is still with you every step of the way as you hold him safely in your heart...Take care and stay safe.

Markie 09/14/2016

Good morning Cindi, I am so sorry for your loss and I am so sorry that you have had to find this site. But find it you did. The people here will support you and help you through the tough times ahead. Take your time. Be kind to yourself. Sometimes one minute at a time, sometime one hour at a time. I have asked what should I do next. People have told me "Just do the next thing".
Hope, Peace, Blessings and Prayers for you for today and for all that are hurting...Mark

luckydaughter 09/14/2016

Hi Cindi. I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband on August 12 of this year, just a few weeks before you lost yours, so I really can relate to that new, raw feeling of loss. I hope you and I will both find some peace/support/answers/something here. Sylvia

Marie44 09/14/2016

For me the first two months I felt that crushing agony that just wouldn't let up. Then it lessened just a bit to where when I woke up in the morning it might not be the first thing on my mind but maybe the second or third. I had trouble sleeping too and took a mild sleeping pill every night for 5 months. Losing your mate sucks in every possible way but over time you learn to live with the "suckage." It still isn't good but I'm resigned to it now. I used to write letters to my husband and tell him things like how lucky he is to be the first one to go. How I'm happy he went quickly and never had to suffer. I'd go through about 3 or 4 Kleenex but I felt better afterwards.
When I'm out and see couples in my age group I feel sad and jealous. It feels so unfair. I wish you and your children all the best.

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