I am so sorry for your loss. One day at a time and gradually you will live again. It is something that you never get over but you can learn how to live with it. (((Gentle hugs)))

It’s good that you are writing and sharing your feelings. I read today that it’s one way to deal with grief. I lost my husband 9/30/15. I was 55, he was 59. I still have bad moments and sometimes bad days but most of the time I’m doing ok. This experience is a real roller coaster. Eventually the highs and lows are not as extreme and are not as often. I’ve tried to figure it out and pretty much have given up. I just try to live my life as best I can. I thankfully have family and friends to help me pass time and a job that keeps me very busy I’ve joined Soaring Spirits International which is a great resource and has regional groups that get together. They organize through meetup where I live which is also another place to locate local groups whose interests you may share. Grief share is another place which offers a religion based support system. Believe me, I would never choose this life, it’s not where I ever expected to find myself. But we weren’t given a choice. I try to remember how lucky I was for 33 years to share my life with a man who cherished me. I know that he wouldn’t want me to be miserable and I try not to be. Veronica is right about one day at a time. Try one thing new today and see how you feel. Wishing you peace. Marybeth

I'm a fellow Canadian and know what you mean when you say "not enough time has passed ..." , I was there 6 years ago...I had to take it one day at a time, actually at first 1 hour was all I could take on at a time...
Our friends for the most part became acquaintances as they were friends with the two of us and moved on with their life. I had to figure out something that would get me out of my home and socialize . I love playing cards so shortly after I was invited to attend a local card game that was held every Sunday afternoon. It was out of my comfort zone at first showing up on my own I settled in fairly quick and learned of other card games held at other venues. What I did like was that it was a safe environment for me .
After a while, I got to see the same people over and over and a sort of friendship developed.
This activity where I immersed myself in a socializing group , allowed me to socialize while grieving and to gain the confidence to rebuild my life. I'm still alone by choice but not lonely.
Hope that you may find some comfort and caring to help you through your grieve even though this site has gotten slow these days .

I know what you speak of the aloneness..But i also know that in time it gets easier to cope with the loss of our other half. Never be the same again so am trying to do some of the things i used to do before he got so sick even those things that i used to love feel different,in time i think we find our selves more. ( Hugs)

Thank you all for your responses. I hope you all find happiness.

Welcome to the club that no one wants to join. Your love story is a sweet one. Not many get to have that kind of love. It's a great blessing when you do.
I'm sorry for the pain and grief you are walking through. It's awful; and your description is a very accurate one.
Having dropped off all of your friends is a pretty big price to pay. You could really use their company now. I hope you'll pursue a good friend who has a listening ear and a compassionate heart. It's awful to feel all alone in this world.