I'm very sorry to hear of your loss. The feelings you described are common among being widowed. I was lost after losing my husband to lung cancer 10 weeks after diagnosis. I couldn't sleep, think or begin to see a future without him. It's just a tragic loss of so much more than a person. It's a loss of plans we made and our life as we knew it.

Take it a day at a time and sometimes moment by moment. Visit with us often as you want to read or post. You aren't alone, someone is always here to listen and more importantly to understand. Sharon

I am so sorry for your loss. It is hard and lonely. It is important to take care of your child, and support yourself. The legal issues are hard in themselves. Take one issue and deal with them, one at a time. We are here for you. Sandee

What you are going through is hard, but you must go through it. Your extreme grief is what all of us here have been, or are currently going through. For a long time, it is almost impossible to move along with the needs of everyday life. I wish I had answers for you but I dont. Please come here often and share, we do understand and we care. I will include you and your daughter to my prayers.

I am sorry for your loss and I understand how you feel facing all there is to be done. Please let me serve as a cautionary tale for this. I was so stunned and devastated over my husband's accidental death that I stopped functioning and left several things until months later when they reached crisis mode. If I had just done a couple simple things like open mail and return calls, I wouldn't be in half the mess I am in now.
You need to prioritize the things that must be attended to, anything that will impact your finances for sure. You don't have to have solutions, just keeping in contact regarding any bills for example will make all the difference. People tend to be very understanding and patient when given the opportunity, but they can not read minds. (Who knew?) If you have benefits at work that include short term disability maybe you could take some time off to regroup. There will be a doctor who understands how soon it is for you to up to full speed. I think it's important for you to be proactive so they won't have a reason to fire you.
There may be mental health volunteers, and other groups you can turn to for support to complete paperwork etc. Delegate and ask for help, just don't leave things as I did. Even on my PJs wearing, tears in my ears, bathing optional days, I could have picked up the phone. Take good care. ((()))

I'm so sorry for your loss and that you have had to join our ranks. I went back to work 2 weeks after my wife passed. It was too soon but I had just started a new job 2 years before and didn't have any leave time left after being with her for the month and a half she was in the hospital. My wife has been gone for 17 months. I can tell you for the first year or more I wasn't really very productive at work. At least not like I was before. I was a zombie. Very much in denial. What you are experiencing is what most of us have gone through and are still going through. I can tell you for me it has gotten better, but some days the grief comes back with a vengeance.

Some of the simplest advice I got here is to remember to breathe. I know it sounds stupid but try it. Make sure you eat like you should. And I know it's very hard but try to get all the rest you can. I still can't sleep some nights. I tried some of that NyQuil sleeping pills. They don't have the cold meds in it. They seem to help.

Come here anytime you need to talk. We all do.

Blessings to you and your daughter.

33 - you sound like you have a very heavy load emotionally.

Now is the time for calling all cars, to use a police idea. When you have big problems you call in reinforcements. Relatives, friends - if they offer to do something accept their help.

If you are religious at all, then I think you have earned some help from unseen sources. There is no way to understand how exactly it works, but in your darkest moments ( the aftermath of a loss,for example ) you will be aided somehow someway.

I can only speak from experience. In my case my wife had just came down with stage 4 cancer and my youngest was in college. At that exact time my company was bought and they cut my hours and pay by 20%. Holy Cats!!!!

I had a friend tell me not to worry, and that when things are darkest is not the time to lose your faith. I had no idea why she was certain of that, but I just kept plugging away. Turns out that a friend of mine mentioned to some business owner that I do custom software work and this owner calls me out of the blue. I end up getting a contract that I work on during my off hours that makes up the 20 %.

So, I'm here to "witness", lol, that help can arrive.

I seem to remember about something about footprints in the sand where the guy thinks God is a slacker.....

I know you are in a tough spot. Call in the big Dogs :)

Bob

Sorry for the loss of your husband. You have started already by coming here to DS. Now just continue to take baby steps to each phase of this journey. Know that you are stronger than you think. God Bless Susan

Hi, 33. I am also from Ontario Canada. I agree with what everyone else as written. Have you thought about respite care for your daughter. Not sure if you have an agency that might do this type of services.
In the city that I am from Salvation Army offers this type of service.
for parent of special needs children/adults. This services would give you a chance to recoup and give your daughter some time for herself.
Sometimes you can also per book dates and the number of nights that you may need.
Call one of your support people and have them either go with you or help set up dates for all the legal things. Get yourself a little calendar that you can fit in your purse. Write down all the dates and times. Give your support person a copy of the dates and times. Ask them to call to remind you.
Not sure of your financial situation. Can you scale back to 20 hours a week. Just some suggestions.
Prays and hugs

Today my 23 yr old handicapped daughter is moving into a group home for 4 weeks. Hopefully this will give her the space she needs to sort out her emotions andgive me some peace of mind regarding her. Now I just have to get myself motivated to get my own life back in order. I spend so much time wasted wishing things were different and feeling sorry for myself that I am alone. I keep thinking I need to find someone to fill that hole left in my life but I know that is wrong right now. I don't have any close friends thanks to my late husband being such a private and posessive guy. We spent most of our free time alone together and that didn't leave me time to maintain any good friendships. Maybe I will have to join the gym or something just to meet some new people. Online dating sights have pretty much turned me off.

My sympathies 33 years, . You have a lot going on right now.
You might try meet up groups, no person to person expectations, usually common interests and group sharing of experience. At four months, not sure if online dating would look good to me either. I am at 22 moths and they still hold no interests. But I do get out more now.
Movies, lunch spa..things that are a treat for me, but not too much.
It's also okay to take the time your daughter is away to just attend to your self care, I'm sure you have been being strong enough for two in these months, now a calgon moment and a good cry to cleanse may help. Like Sharon said, just take it a day at a time.

Jewells.