I agree, right there with you.

Yes, and absolutely no one understands unless they have been there. People were so thoughtful at first, now I feel them withdrawing as it is painful for them to see me. We had lots of couple friends,now they don't know what to do with me. I do have single friends, just odd how people react. You do find out who your true friends are at times like these.

Ah, yes - your short list could expanded into pages upon pages ~

Bob was a wildman; Mr. Go Go Go ~
Let's go snow or water skiing, golfing, camping, boating, fishing, parasailing, dancing, visit friends, fondle everything at Home Depot, build or repair this & that, etc, etc, etc ~
The man could wear us out ~
And I loved it as well as the kids!

However, when we had disagreements I did feel sad, lonely & missed him dearly ~
Naturally, it prompted us to resolve the issue at hand much quicker b/c he felt the same way ~
It made us grow together while maintaining our individualism which was vital since we were opposites ~

You might already be sick & tired of hearing that it will get better in time ~
It's true, it will get better ~
After you have healed the grief will be like a distant memory ~
And your beloved will always be in your heart ~
Be gentle w/yourself ~
Take care ~

Thank you I try to remember it will get better, but when these feelings come it's hard to think of anything other than despair.

[[[HUGS]]]

And you are absolutely right, I did too ~
I try never to mention this b/c I recall being easily angered or just diving into the abyss from things I couldn't cope with, but I think it will be helpful in learning the grief process ~
To get to the eye of the storm, one must go throw it ~
Going through the grief (pain, despair, loneliness, etc) as it comes over & over & over it will become less intense ~
As the intensity decreases, this is time when your grief work will make a big difference ~
As your grief work, you can make yourself stronger & nip it quicker by being aware of your body & the thoughts that lead you out -
You can also look for & try out other techniques to keep on stand
in your grief tool box ~

When I was where you were at, I would put myself to sleep to reset my brain ~
I used Tylenol PM or Ibuprofen PM ~
It can cause cobwebs upon waking ~
To clean my brain I used complex vitamin B sublingual or drank a Red Bull ~
Hope this helps ~

I think hearing that it will get better comes easier from those who have walked in my shoes. It doesn't sit well when someone whose never had a loss says the same words.

I just realized yesterday that I can talk about his death without tears coming up in my eyes. I was talking to a veteran whose lieutenant lost his life and he had a wife and small children. He was telling me that he can't imagine losing a spouse. It was refreshing to have someone be so honest with me instead of trying to avoid the tough stuff.

Nessie from KY

I too agree but talking it out and with others that understand helps get it out and away from your heart and soul....keeping it in I believe keeps it stuck longer and harder.....

HUGS from PNW

You are in the "early stages " of grief at 5 months - altho' I know it seems like forever. Many DS members have reported that grief support groups were of great help to them. I personally had lots of support from my church family and neighbors and am still included in our "supper club" of 6 couples, even though I'm a single person. I am much older than you (75) and most others here, and that's probably one reason I'm included. None of the other gals would think to be jealous if I talk to their husband. If you haven't tried a support group, check around your city for one. Wishing you peaceful days - Doye

@Doye...not much older than me :) I'm 67 & we are doing fine, right? Sharon