At 2 years I remember still having huge meltdowns on occasions and in the middle of one , I said out loud "What the heck is wrong with me , it's been two years" and my wise 20 year old look at me and said "It has only been 2 years". We are geared to think that we need to feel "better" in x amount of time when in reality our heart decides our grieving time frame. I was 48 when I lost my husband and like you, he was my everything. At 32 months life is good. To get there I had to step out of my comfort zone and do things for myself and not things we would have done together. I am 50 now and it has been 32 months and well intended friends and family think that I should find a new love to share my life with. I am not saying never but I am saying that in order to feel human again I had to do for myself first and the rest will take care of itself.

It's been almost 9 months since Bob passed over into glory. I miss him every second! We had 41 years together, of course he was my whole world!
But I am learning now to live without him at my side. It is a very hard journey, but I know God is with me and I am not really alone. Plus I have my 3 fur babies and they really help to have life in the house. They give me so much love.
Now I'm just trying to honor God as a widow and be a blessing to others
Soon!....Karla

Everyone is different so for me my key to feeling normal again was accepting the fact I would never be normal as I had known it before the passing of my husband. I had buried myself with work and that was the normal in my marriage. We were on a mission for a perfect retirement...as I found myself focussing on things that involved us..such as that mission ..I felt many things in my life just didn't feel right...tho I felt it I didn't actually realize it until 20 months after the passing. I guess I had kept everything exactly as it was minus his physical presence...tho I had given away his clothing ...made some personal memory boxes for our grandsons...I kept his stuff in the shower...his slippers by the dresser. October 6 of 2014 I opened up my true feelings on cancer to my Facebook family...gathered the 4 years worth of medical bills..appointments ..even the prescription from the doctor with the words Bladder Cancer ..that was all it really said ..I put it all in the fire pit in the yard and asked my son to burn it..and off to work I went. I would join this site 2 days later. Bit by bit through great advice..and encouraging words from others here I started making changes in my life...as each change and many of them very small happened a change occurred in me. I didnt always understand my change and when unsure I asked for advice through here...turned to my faith as guidance..Today I feel a new normal...this new normal is much more peaceful...less hyper...but the biggest is the amount of hope I feel and the sense of responsibility I have in myself TO myself is a first . As I continue to focus on my new relationship with myself ..I am finding a lot about me that I never knew. None of this has been easy...and most of it truly hurt...yet I finally understand that I needed every single year..hurt..and worry to get me to this point..this is where my focus moved from the heartbreak of the past but to the helpfulness of the future...Like others told me here..you will make it . Sending you a gentle hug and wishes of strength as you continue on your journey in finding your new normal.

I wish to thank you one and all for the advice.I have always been strong,when wife and family were concerned,and still the day to day with our children is no problem that doesn't worry me at all. It is that we were just so much in love ....and there was no warning,one day she was here the next she was gone....there was a blood clot in her lungs...never had any symptoms at all she died in front of me at her doctor's office.Again I have always been strong and I shall get through this best I can,I thought I could do it by myself,but I am finding that quite impossible thanks again,if u wish I did post some pics take care.

Little by little and day by day and come here often. You are right you can't do it alone. I have always been a very private person but I could not get through this without being able to talk to people here who have gone through this same terrible experience. That is the only advise I can give you as it is the only thing that has been keeping me going each day and I hope it will work for you as well

Love and good thoughts to you, May you someday find the peace and contentment you seek.

Allow yourself ways to let the pain & sorrow come out in ways that work For You, whether that is through crying, talking to trusted people, writing, praying.
With a house full of kids, that might be a challenge.
You do need to give the pain a way to get out, that is 100% necessary.
Do you have ways which you can do that?
If "Yes", then you are heading toward healing.

Everybody is unique, even if on similar roads through grief.
We can only strive to find our own New Normal.
We will not be the same as we were before.
The pain is equal to our other halves which we lost.
Try to look for pieces of joy. maybe in ways that are different for you.
If you have a good sense of humor, don't lose it. sometimes the tears of sorrow and joy overlap on me.

I lost my husband without warning too, not quite 6 months ago. so you are further down the road than me.
Someone could drive a Semi truck through the hole in my chest without even brushing against the sides.
I live for Hope of better days ahead.
Love on your children as much as you can. they may be saving you from more than you realize. No, they will never make up for missing your beloved wife. but I am 60, the days of raising kids are in my past. I could never wish this loneliness on anyone, and I am not by nature someone who has ever been "needy" for company.
All my best to you.

I lost my husband, suddenly without warning, almost five years ago. And all I wanted was my normal back. Here is the thing; you have to create your own new "normal". It sounds like you have been doing a great job at this especially for your kids.

You also have to do it internally and for yourself. And that takes time and going out of your comfort zone, doing new things and having new experiences. The heart is ever expansive, it can grow. The hole is always there and the ache continues, but new joy can be found. But the first step is to accept that things will never be normal in the same way again. Hope this helps.
Hugs,
Val

So sorry for the loss of your wife. I lost my 46 year old husband 9 months ago after an 18 month battle with leukemia. Honestly, I think feeling normal is probably unrealistic. We have 3 children and of course I do normal stuff everyday. Cook dinner, go to soccer, carpools, etc. My husband and I were together for 20 years, have 3 daughters that we planned on raising together. I don't think I will ever feel "normal" after the trauma of losing him. My girls will never have a father. That is not normal. However, we do manage to feel okay most days. Our new normal is not what we want or planned but we are functioning okay. I know for me I go out with my girlfriends a lot. If nothing more it is a distraction from the new life that I don't want. Good luck. Try and gain support from wherever you can.